How Manifestation and Self-Worth Impact Love and Matchmaking

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Welcome to the Matchmaker Mentor
Podcast, the show where aspiring

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and experienced matchmakers come
to sharpen their skills, grow

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their businesses, and elevate
the matchmaking industry.

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Your host is Arlene Washburn, an
award-winning ethical

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matchmaking advocate, mentor,
and industry innovator.

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Let's dive in.
Suzanne, welcome to the

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Matchmaker Mentor Podcast.
I am so thrilled to have you

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here.
And before we dive in, can you

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share a little bit about your
journey and what inspired you to

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transition from teaching to
becoming a Life Design and

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Manifestation coach?
Well, thank you for having me,

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Arlene.
I'm excited to be here and that

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transformation, it was an
interesting one, but honestly,

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it came right from the heart.
And it took a little bit to

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discover it, but there was
something I was trying to do in

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the classroom that wasn't
happening and it was reaching

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out and and letting each human
being know that they are worthy,

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that they deserve the space, the
air, the time.

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And that was rough in a
classroom.

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And, you know, honestly, moving
into coaching has allowed me to

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transition to working one-on-one
with fellow human beings who are

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looking for more in their life.
And very honestly, they are

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looking to discover who they
are, but they're not so sure

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about their worthiness.
And so when I can step in and

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reassure them and guide them,
wow, what a change.

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So that transformation had to
happen.

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It was happening in an
entrepreneurial way while I was

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a teacher and I realized, you
know what, I need to do this

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more full time.
So that shift just happened.

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It was great.
I love that, and I love when you

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talk about worthiness because
it's often the thing that gets

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in the way of just about
everything.

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And being someone who's been in
the matchmaking world, I don't

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do it anymore.
But just when I was coaching

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daters and working with clients,
the worthiness piece is

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something that people ignore.
They don't have a thing because

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they really don't feel worthy of
it and so they repel it in some

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way.
And I'm so excited to talk to

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you about manifestation because
I often am very much a science

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based person, but people don't
realize that this is part of the

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science of human relationships
and that manifesting, at least

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what it is for me, is there's a
lot of science behind this.

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So I'm curious, what is your
definition of manifestation?

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Manifestation for me is bringing
what you would love closer to

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you at a rate that you're happy
with.

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A lot of us can think about
something that we would love and

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it's so far away we can't
imagine it.

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We don't even feel ourselves
worthy of deserving it.

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And we might even put that
thought away, but it's in

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reality, it's seeing ourselves
there.

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It's not, it's not pretending.
It's it's being that person for

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whom that future, that reality
maybe in the dating world, that

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having that partner, that that
is true.

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And we are living and feeling
and acting as if that were true

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because that vibration brings to
us what we're looking for.

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So manifestation is truly that
that allowing the creation of

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what we're looking for.
We are Co creators so it allows

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us to put out a vibration to
bring to us what we would really

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want instead of what we don't
want.

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Which is frequently a trap,
especially people in the dating

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world can land in.
Yeah.

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So when you say Co creating, so
essentially, because you know,

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there's a lot of woo woo out
there, which a lot some of it is

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true, true, as my colleague Dr.
Asia would say, you know, woo

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woo, That's true, true.
But also when I think about

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manifestation is is a visioning
of and allowing yourself even to

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vision, because a lot of people
with that feeling of

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unworthiness, then they won't
even allow themselves to vision

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something.
So I'm a big, I'm looking at my

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vision board right now, for
example, I'm a big believer of

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looking at your vision and
putting it in a place where you

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actually can view it as often as
possible to create a path in

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your brain scientifically that
you know, where you know what

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you want.
And when the opportunities

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arise, you can actually seize
those opportunities because

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you've primed yourself to get
there.

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And to me, that's what
manifestation is all about is

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actually spending that time and
figuring out what you want and

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creating a vision for it.
And then talking about the

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vibrational space as well is
maintaining an energy of

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gratitude and acceptance and,
and worthiness to allow it in,

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because otherwise we tend to
repel it.

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It's like, I don't know if I'm
Cape, you know?

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And that doubt that we often
have, right, especially when we

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have these audacious desires and
things like that.

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I love that you're talking about
a vision board and that is such

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everyone gets what a vision
board is.

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I don't ever have to explain
that.

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But I have worked with people
who don't feel brave enough to

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put anything on a vision board,
whether based on past failures

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or that lack of worthiness.
And so starting with recognizing

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that we are all one, whether you
believe in God's source

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universe, it's irrelevant.
We are all one.

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And much like I always think of
a starfish, and I know that's

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crazy, but a starfish if the if
the planet, if the earth, if the

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universe were a starfish and the
starfish lost one of its rays.

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They're called, they used to
call them arms, but I've learned

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it's a ray that it wouldn't
think, well, you know, I guess

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we're good with four.
I'm not going to grow it back.

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I mean, it, it grows it back.
It would never say, well, you

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know, ray #2 you're not good
enough.

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I'm not going to give you as
much of this or as much of that.

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Our universe is plentiful.
It is abundant.

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There is enough of everything
for everyone within it, despite

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what movies and reality may be
teaching us.

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And so for us to recognize who
we are, that we are one, that we

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are as deserving as the people
next to us, that person who has

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it all, as well as that person
who has very little, we all have

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that same level of worthiness.
That is a first step.

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And so once we can get there,
that's when we can truly start

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to build that vision and shift
some of those feelings and bring

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what we're looking for.
But that that step of

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worthiness, that can be an
interesting one to take clients

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through.
Oh.

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My gosh, yeah.
I'm curious what you do as far

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as that is concerned because
while I'm essentially a business

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coach for matchmakers and you
know, often when they start

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training or learning about the
craft, the.

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There's a lot of things about
worthiness and money, money,

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noise, not feeling worthy of the
fee that they're getting paid,

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even though you're working
really hard.

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Because let me tell you, the
industry that the professional

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matchmakers work very hard.
I don't think people recognize

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when you imagine that someone's
gone through their whole life

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and they reached the age of
303540, even in their 50s or

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60s, and they have not found the
ideal partner for themselves.

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And then they're paying someone
to go out and find that it is a

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lot of work.
It's not just going through a

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database, It's beyond that.
And I find sometimes that they,

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you know, when it comes to
sales, if it's an independent

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person who's running a business
that they, they have a hard time

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with that.
And again, I think that gets

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back to the worthiness aspect of
it and this the mindset, which

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is a huge thing in anything that
you do.

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Yes, yes, I agree that back to
the worthiness, absolutely.

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And I think a, a big step in
working with a matchmaker would

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be believing that I deserve the
money, the time, the resources,

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all of that.
One of the things that I do to

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help people build that that
inner sense of worth is I do

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help them work on their values.
And I do that because our values

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are always playing within us,
but we may not know that that's

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happening.
So when you and I watch a feel

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good movie, if I asked you what
the title of your favorite feel

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good movie was, what is it by
the way?

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Baby boom.
I don't know why, it's one of my

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favorite movies.
Very, very old.

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Mine is Love Actually.
And we all have our own and

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there's a different scene within
each one.

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So you and I may even have the
same movie, but we would have a

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different scene.
And I, and I ask you that

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because somewhere within me,
within my value system, within

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who I am, I know maybe if it's
subconsciously what is important

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to me.
And when I am experiencing life,

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listening to a book, watching a
movie, like I just said, I will

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come across scenes that feel
very good to me.

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And when that's happening, one
of my values has been touched on

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and respected, highlighted or
lifted up in that scene or that

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experience.
And if there's an experience or

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a scene or a movie or something
in our lives that just rattles

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us to the core, one of our
values has not been respected,

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right?
And it's been trumped on

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perhaps.
And, and people can start to

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discover who they are by paying
attention to those moments and

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asking themselves what what do I
believe?

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Obviously there's something in
here that means something to me.

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And, and I mean, I always laugh
because my feel good movie is,

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you know, it's always some sort
of romantic whatever.

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And my husband's very good with
those.

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But I always tease him.
I'm sure you'd rather watch all

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these aliens killing each other,
But you know, he has a value of

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adventure and that plays out in
those movies.

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And I don't have that same
value.

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So it doesn't.
And that that's just noticing

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our difference.
But notice when I talked about

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my husband values, his values
about adventure, Mine aren't the

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same, and he's still wonderful.
I still love him.

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That's how our values can make
us strong.

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So as much as I can lean in and
go, that movie's amazing.

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And maybe, maybe I'll get brave
one day and search through for

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something.
Maybe it's the integrity of the

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character.
Maybe it was their honesty,

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maybe it was their work ethic,
maybe it was their tenacity.

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Who knows when I know what that
is, that's awesome.

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But that also makes me stronger
because when I know I'm

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tenacious and I see someone who
isn't, that's OK.

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It's just not me.
And I start to back away from

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judgement.
I'm in.

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I'm in an area where I'm strong
in who I am.

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And when I back away from
judgement, it's not just of

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others, it's also of myself.
And so that's an important step.

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I love that you're doing work in
in that area of values, because

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what I encountered when I was a
dating coach was that people

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often didn't know what it meant,
what their values were.

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They didn't even know what their
values were.

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And we would put them through an
exercise of figuring that out so

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that they can, you know,
basically have a language to be

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able to speak to what, what's
important to them.

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Because in the world of dating
and relationships, even though

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opposites attract, they don't
last.

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And often they need alignment.
And one of the areas where you

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need alignment is in your value
system.

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They have to sort of align.
And it's not to say that they

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have to be exactly the same, but
it's really important to have

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that level of alignment because
then as you said, things are

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going to be touching your nerves
or your values in a, in a way

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that's going to disrupt the
relationship over and over

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again.
Because people tend to kind of,

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you know, have those things for
the, for the long haul.

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I mean, you know, and a lot of
things are not permanent.

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I'm not trying to say that
values are because we often get

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those from when we're younger
and all of that.

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And, and we could always re
evaluate if you're, if you have

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that growth mindset, but it's
really, really interesting that

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you're doing work with values
that I think that's such an

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important thing.
And even in the business world

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that we talk about vision, your
vision and your mission.

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It it usually has to do with
your values.

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And then it helps you in
decision making because when you

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know what your values are, when
you make a decision, you check

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in with that, whatever it is,
integrity, whether it's, you

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know, adventure, all of those.
Is it does it connect with this?

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OK, then yes, it's a yes for me.
It doesn't connect with it it,

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it's a no.
And I think if people only

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understood the the value of
values, all right, it's a real

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blueprint that can help you
navigate life so much easier

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when you are attuned or attuned
to what that is.

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So true, yes, values.
It's one of the it's, I call it

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the trifecta when it comes to
living that life that's

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energizing and that we really
want to live it.

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We, we need our passion because
our passion ignites our fire.

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It gives us motivation.
We need our purpose that gives

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us direction, right?
Gives direction to our passion.

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So we're not just like excited
all over the place.

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We know what we're doing, but
our values act as the guidepost

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for the actions in our life.
And you're right, knowing our

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values makes decisions really
simple.

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If I value family, if I value
maybe nature and and spending

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time there and someone asked me
if I want to go hang out at the

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club with a bunch of work
friends, My decision's really

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simple.
But if I don't know my values, I

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could be called by the well, I
should be nice.

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I you know, I should and I could
wiggle waggle.

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But when I do know, I can say,
hey, that sounds like so much

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fun.
I would love to hang out with

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you guys.
But my thing is to do this If

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you want to join me, absolutely.
And and it allows me to remain

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who I am, to still engage with
people, to still respect them

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for who they are, but to stand
strong.

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And that if I can backtrack to
what you said about opposites

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attract for a second, people do
talk about opposites attracting

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and they're right.
But we're not looking for that

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at the values based level.
In other words, if I'm a seller,

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I'm looking for a buyer.
I'm not looking to attract

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another seller, right?
So we do need opposites to

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become attracted to each other,
to, to, to serve each other.

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But deep down, if I value
adventure and travel and being

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out in nature, then I am going
to need to be with someone who

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has similar values, not
necessarily in the same order,

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but that they're there so that
my needs are met.

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So I could be quiet and they
could be outgoing, but that

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relationship really goes on fire
when many of our values are

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similar.
Yeah.

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So true.
So tell me about the work that

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you do and the clients that you
serve and what you take them

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through.
Because the, you know, obviously

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there was a big shift from being
a teacher.

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Although when I really think
about it, it's not that huge a

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shit 'cause I've been a coach
and now I teach and I mean very

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similar.
It's all about motivating,

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helping to, you know, help
people navigate their own truths

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and whatnot.
But I'm really curious about the

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work that you're doing on a
regular.

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Basis, you know, I think back to
the teaching and coaching yeah,

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super similar and honestly, some
of my clients are as unwilling

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as my teenage clients were.
And I'd say that because they

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know that this is good for them
and they're there because they

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know it's good for them, but
that doesn't mean that they

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would love to do the work.
And so I am the perfect coach

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for people who don't love to do
the work because I can motivate

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the heck out of people.
That's that's what I love.

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But honestly, I do one of my
favorite courses that I'm taking

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people through luck by design.
It's basically, I don't believe

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in luck.
I believe that you design what

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comes to you.
And so we're going to make our

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own luck.
Thank you.

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And it's about discovering who
we are.

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I take people through that
values discovery process.

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I take them into discovering
their passions and their purpose

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and even the legacy that they
would love to leave behind.

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You know, I then take them into
their own self concept.

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This comes back to the
worthiness.

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So by the way, each class has a
step towards building your

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worthiness, which I love and
people are really leaning in

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for.
I think that's something that

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our society needs.
I see you nodding something.

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Yeah.
So working on self concept, like

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who do I believe that I am and
how does it feel to be me?

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But then knowing that I have
these values, passion, purpose,

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what life would I love to
create?

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And how does it feel to be that
me?

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And allowing people to recognize
the disparity and to help them

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shift.
Now, you mentioned money.

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That's one of the biggest,
simplest areas to talk about

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because it's in everyone's
world.

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00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,680
But how do you feel when your
furnace breaks down and you pay

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the bill right now based on your
finances, Right?

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00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,840
And I ask this to all of my
clients, based on your finances,

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00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,400
the money story that's in your
head, what you've been taught,

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how do you feel when you pay
that bill?

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And then, hey, three years from
now when your vision is carried

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out and you have the money, the
time, the health and the

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relationships you would love to
have in your life, how's it feel

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now?
And why don't we take that

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feeling and feel it now?
That doesn't mean spend as if we

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00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,840
have it all.
It means feel as if we have it

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00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,520
all.
So when I pay that bill now, I

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00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,120
have to say things like, am I
ever grateful I have enough

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00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:13,480
credit for this, or I have
enough savings for this, or I

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have a friend to help me install
this furnace?

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00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:22,560
I take my clients through that
feeling positive now because

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00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:26,600
that's my frequency for
attraction and if I would love

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00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:31,600
this life, acting from that end
will attract it to me.

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So we we go through that our
self concept and how that feels.

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And then honestly, we work for
several weeks on awareness

325
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,800
because if we don't understand
and recognize the beliefs within

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00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:44,600
us that are holding us back,
even a value that we hold that

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00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,240
we didn't know, maybe we believe
we're not good enough, smart

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enough, fast enough, skinny
enough, tall enough, pretty

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enough, you name it.
I do work with men as well.

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So insert all the male sides of
that, then we can't change where

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we're going to end up.
And so we, we deal in the last

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00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,960
few weeks that I work with
people we deal with identifying

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00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,640
those limiting beliefs, being
aware of them and reprogramming,

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00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:12,600
reprogramming our self concept
so that instead of hearing the

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00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,240
story we've heard in our minds
since we were children, and

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00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,480
that's been built up over time,
we're inserting a new story.

337
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,760
Thank you very much.
And that story is coming from

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00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,000
the feelings, the actions of
that person for whom it's all

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00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,760
worked out already.
It's kind of a cool concept.

340
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,400
I love the process.
It, I mean, first of all, we are

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00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,720
so aligned and very, very
similar.

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00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:39,360
It's amazing how this translates
into anything, not just, you

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00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:44,880
know, whether it's a career or a
business or love or any of it.

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This concept is amazing because
the not enoughness is something

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00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:55,800
that a lot of people have to
work through in order to accept

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00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,280
the opportunities that come our
way.

347
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,280
But I love what you said about
luck when we started there,

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'cause I am, I've always said
for years, I'm like, I don't

349
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,960
believe in luck.
I believe there's a saying, I

350
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:12,000
think it was Seneca, who said
luck is when preparation meets

351
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,920
opportunity.
And that's why it's more

352
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,360
important to focus on the
preparation so when the

353
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opportunity comes, you can take
advantage of it.

354
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:28,400
And the money situation is funny
because I grew up, I wouldn't

355
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,040
say like dirt poor or anything,
but, you know, I had a single

356
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,360
mom and we had a modest income
and all that.

357
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,440
But in my mind, I was never
poor.

358
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:42,000
And I always looked at money as
an energy exchange.

359
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,480
Nice.
You know, so it's like if I pay

360
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,840
for something, I feel that I'm
it's, there's an energy

361
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,840
exchange.
I'm getting something for the

362
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,360
payment that I'm making.
It makes the world go round.

363
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:59,720
It helps people be employed.
It helps me be employed, whether

364
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,440
it's my own business, getting
paid from clients.

365
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,640
Like I just look at it, it's
just, it's, it's like an energy

366
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,680
exchange.
And we put a different kind of

367
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,720
value on money, which is weird
is what we do, you know, with

368
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,360
when it comes to it.
And if only we could just

369
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,480
recognize that that's that's all
it is.

370
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,320
It's just an energy exchange.
Absolutely.

371
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,120
Something where you're getting
paid for your time and then now

372
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:26,520
you can use that to buy your
time back somewhere else, which

373
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is the one thing, right?
That is so, you know, like once

374
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,760
you use up your time, you've
used it up, you can't get it

375
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,040
back, right?
So wherever you can pay to get

376
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,360
it back, go for it.
I love it.

377
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:40,000
I love everything that you
shared.

378
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,920
And I think it's a wonderful
process to take people through,

379
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,600
especially the part about
awareness, because it is amazing

380
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:53,200
how much people are on autopilot
that they don't even recognize

381
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,040
what they're doing, what they're
saying, what they're thinking.

382
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,840
They don't stop.
And this is very common, I have

383
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,640
to say as a woman, because we're
so busy and we're taking care of

384
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,160
everyone and we're doing
everything and we're, you know,

385
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,280
if you're a people pleaser and
then you have all these

386
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:13,960
responsibilities, you might lose
your awareness of what you're,

387
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,320
you know, how you're showing up,
what you're liking, who you

388
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:21,040
really are in the public eye.
And I love that.

389
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,800
How do you, how do you get
people to become aware?

390
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,240
I'm curious about that.
Self aware for sake.

391
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:32,160
Self-awareness is huge.
Honestly, one of the first

392
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,960
questions I ask is how does it
feel to be you?

393
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:40,960
Which if we're really honest, we
could almost write a book about.

394
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,920
When we look at all the
situations that we see ourselves

395
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,960
in on a daily basis, how does it
truly feel to be us and to be

396
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:52,680
aware of that?
But our, our #1 signal for

397
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,760
whether we're manifesting what
we would love or, or manifesting

398
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,880
something we wouldn't love is
our emotions.

399
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:01,400
So we have that emotional scale
where we have joy and

400
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,720
empowerment sort of at the top
and down, down at the very

401
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,280
bottom.
We have like despair,

402
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,400
disempowerment, and all of the
shades in between.

403
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:16,040
And if we're in a situation, if
we're, if we're experiencing

404
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,560
something where maybe we're
feeling constructive, we start

405
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,240
to feel a little bit hopeless,
we start feeling angry.

406
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:28,920
Those are awareness signals.
That is our true indicator of

407
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,760
whether we are in alignment for
what we would love.

408
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:33,680
And you know exactly what that's
like.

409
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,640
I'm sure you've experienced this
as much as I have.

410
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,960
We can spend times laying in bed
at night thinking, oh, gosh, I

411
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,200
hope this doesn't happen.
Oh gosh, I think that doesn't, I

412
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,520
hope that doesn't happen.
And we can get all tight, we can

413
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,480
get all worried.
And that's our signal.

414
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:53,200
Oh, hang on, we're about to
spend too much time and

415
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,720
frequency on an area that we
wouldn't like to have happen in

416
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,920
our lives.
So we're going to shut that.

417
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,280
We're going to be done with
that, and we're going to look

418
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,480
forward.
That awareness, though, really

419
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,240
paying attention to that
emotional scale and knowing

420
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,160
where you are on it.
A lot of people talk about

421
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,920
gratitude.
Oh, just be grateful.

422
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:19,400
Sure, if you're really grateful,
faking it to make it isn't

423
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:23,480
gratitude, but our gratitude
also builds our worthiness.

424
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,480
So those are kind of connected.
And if we're faking our

425
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,120
gratitude, we're still going to
feel fake inside.

426
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,680
Whereas if I truly, I ask people
to be aware of what they truly

427
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,200
are grateful for.
And if they're grateful for

428
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,000
those relationships, they're
grateful for the opportunities,

429
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,320
they're grateful for the new
clothes they bought last week

430
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:45,280
when they're feeling that they
are starting to set a program in

431
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,720
their mind to see things to be
grateful for.

432
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,840
And when we see things on the
outside we're grateful for,

433
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,640
guess what happens when we start
to look inside?

434
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:58,400
Now we see things to be grateful
for.

435
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,680
And guess what happens to our
worthiness?

436
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,720
And that's an amazing tool.
But you know, when we're in

437
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,120
anger or despair, those, those
emotions aren't wrong.

438
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,480
Those are just signals.
OK, how long do I want to spend

439
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,400
here?
How soon can I shift?

440
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:17,320
And where do I want to shift it
to, to get what I would love in

441
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:22,520
my life?
I love that and I agree

442
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,560
wholeheartedly.
I, I always say those who worry

443
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:29,400
suffer twice because you're
worrying about a situation that

444
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,360
you don't know what's going to
happen and it's so important to

445
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,320
focus on the things you can
control.

446
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:41,000
But I also love that you said,
you know, about seeing the

447
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,520
things that you're grateful for
because I think we filter out so

448
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,920
much.
Our brains just are designed to

449
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,360
do that.
And so by taking that inventory

450
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,840
on a regular basis and just kind
of going through and say, you

451
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,800
know, I'm grateful that I, I'm
sitting in my closet right now

452
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:02,200
and my closet is like 20 by 30,
like that's the size of

453
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,880
somebody's apartment.
And I'm like, I should be

454
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,440
grateful.
This is not something I should

455
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:10,520
be taking for granted, You know,
and everything, everything that

456
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,320
you have in your life as you
start to take that inventory, it

457
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:19,320
just, it's very fulfilling.
So you don't be, you don't have

458
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:24,720
to be in that constant want,
want, want, like lack and spare.

459
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,280
So I, I do love gratitude
practice.

460
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:32,640
And I think, you know, just
shifting to specifically to

461
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,480
entrepreneurs, which is really
what these matchmakers are and a

462
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:39,320
lot of their clients.
It that's so important because

463
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,720
when you have, and you know this
as a business owner, you need to

464
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,520
be self-propelled.
You don't have a boss telling

465
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,240
you what to do.
You have to get up every

466
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:52,480
morning, have a routine and be
able to stay at a high vibration

467
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:57,880
to attract the right clients,
people who are, you know, ready

468
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,360
and willing to invest and that
you feel good about working with

469
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,360
them.
So you're not taking what I call

470
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:06,000
blood money.
When you take on a client, then

471
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,440
you're like, Oh my God, just I'm
like, don't even do it.

472
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,960
Just try to track the right
clients because you're gonna,

473
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,680
you'll be up at night worrying
about this client.

474
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:19,920
Let's talk a little bit about,
you know, how this manifestation

475
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,080
and all this practice that
you're talking about really

476
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:26,360
could serve these entrepreneurs,
these matchmakers and people

477
00:28:26,360 --> 00:28:31,680
with their businesses.
So important, absolutely.

478
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:36,000
We are manifesting all the time,
whether we acknowledge it or

479
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,000
not.
And as entrepreneurs, when we

480
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,880
look around us, the business we
got last month or didn't get is

481
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,920
a direct result of our creation,
our Co creation.

482
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,720
A lot of people don't love to
hear that.

483
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,320
But when I'm saying you may have
manifested something that you

484
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:57,640
didn't want, I'm not saying that
people did that on purpose, but

485
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,240
out of worry, out of habit about
looking at their account and

486
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,320
feeling a certain way when it's
not full enough.

487
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,000
By looking at the waiting room
in their office and there's no

488
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,680
one in it, they can be creating
an energy that just attracts

489
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:13,440
more, no one in their office
more, low balance more.

490
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:19,080
And so that's that shift that is
so important, especially as an

491
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:23,080
entrepreneur.
And for me, I think my favorite

492
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:26,880
tool there is to ask people to
notice what they're noticing.

493
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,840
And when it is something
negative that they're noticing,

494
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,760
that is what they're dwelling
on, then that's what they're

495
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:34,560
going to attract.
By the way, if I have a thought

496
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,280
for a few moments ago, actually
I don't want to think about

497
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,720
that, that's fine.
We have to hold that thought.

498
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,640
It has to be our general
frequency to be manifesting from

499
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,360
there.
We also don't manifest from our

500
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:44,960
dreams.
People ask me that as well.

501
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,160
But notice what you're noticing
is important.

502
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:52,040
And if you're not loving what
you notice, number one tool,

503
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,960
especially for entrepreneurs is
to lean back and go to your

504
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:59,120
successes.
Name a time, Think of a time.

505
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,440
Picture the last time the
waiting room had a people in it

506
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,600
and that's so that it made you
feel good inside.

507
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,960
The last time you landed that
client that was amazing, that

508
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,920
person you worked with who was
fantastic.

509
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:14,240
We want to be not necessarily
imaging specific people, but the

510
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,760
emotion from that time because
that frequency is the one we

511
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:22,800
want to vibrate in.
That is similar to I think all

512
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,840
of us have experienced this.
If you've ever gotten in the car

513
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,120
and you've driven to work, but
when you get to work, you don't

514
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:32,360
remember driving there.
So that's, that's what we want

515
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,680
to have.
We want to have that feeling of

516
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,640
those clients that we love
working with the income in our

517
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,680
bank account just filling with
all of that.

518
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,560
We want that here, like the
image of our workplace.

519
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,160
And although we're maneuvering
our day-to-day, we're still

520
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,920
here.
That vision is here.

521
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:54,120
And once we can plaster that in
there, remembering these

522
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,520
techniques, looking back to past
successes, building, there's

523
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,840
several tools that I teach, but
that's one of the simplest.

524
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:03,080
Once we do that, we can truly
continue on our journey.

525
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,480
Yes, acknowledge what's
happening in front of us, but

526
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:11,840
keep our frequency, our eyes on
the prize so that that's that's

527
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,640
more ours quicker, if that makes
any sense.

528
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,600
Almost like quantum leaping.
100% totally makes sense.

529
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:24,840
And I think that if you said
this before, but just to give a

530
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:30,120
concrete example, if if I'm an
employee, for example, and I'm

531
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,520
working on a supervisor level,
want to get to a manager level,

532
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,800
I need to start acting like a
manager in order to show my

533
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,960
supervisor.
Well, you know, whoever my, my

534
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:49,960
boss is that I'm capable of it.
And I think in life there's like

535
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,400
an energetic being or something,
I don't know what you want to

536
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,840
call it that is constantly
taking, you know, like looking

537
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,080
for this.
Are you acting as if you are

538
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,320
this already?
Do you believe that you're

539
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,520
capable and worthy and
everything else?

540
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,640
That's all sort of ducks.
That's to me, ducks in the row,

541
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,120
everything, all your ducks are
in the row.

542
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,440
That thing's gonna come.
And then when you have the

543
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:18,400
confidence and belief that it is
coming, then you're able to hang

544
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,640
in there long enough.
For example, I find on a

545
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,320
concrete level, just to give an
example, somebody will start

546
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:30,480
using a marketing tool or let's
say they they lean into social

547
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,400
media.
Well, if you don't believe

548
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,040
you're going to have success, if
you don't stick with it long

549
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,320
enough, you're not going to have
success, right?

550
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,280
But when your ducks are in the
row and you've made a decision,

551
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:46,200
I'm doing a podcast or I'm doing
social media or I'm doing a blog

552
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,720
because all marketing works.
I just interviewed a good friend

553
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,440
of mine and she said that all
marketing works is you have to

554
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:58,480
stick with it and you have to
refine and get better, but give

555
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,600
it enough time for it to work
because it's not.

556
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,160
You don't have control over how
quickly things happen.

557
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:09,360
And in manifesting, people
always have this idea and this

558
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,520
expectation, which is a word
that I don't usually have in my

559
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:17,640
vocabulary that if they manifest
it, that means it's like instant

560
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,160
gratification and manifestation
is not instant.

561
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,760
Gratification.
No, no, I, I love what you're

562
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,680
talking about about all
marketing works.

563
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,280
I actually have that post it
note stuck to my computer.

564
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:34,560
You can't see it, but they're
down to that.

565
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,000
People will often think, well,
if I just stick with it'll,

566
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:41,760
it'll work.
I, I agree as long as you're

567
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,680
vibrating at a frequency of
belief that it's working for

568
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,840
you.
And I recently was reading Jerry

569
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,960
and Esther Hicks in one of their
one of their books, they talk

570
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,360
about there's two sides to
everything.

571
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,640
And if I asked you to pick up,
say, the the marketing stick,

572
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,200
there's actually two sides to
the marketing stick.

573
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,040
This represents marketing.
This could represent health, it

574
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,760
could represent a great
relationship.

575
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:11,760
It could represent money.
On this stick, there's a good

576
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:13,760
end, a positive end and a
negative end.

577
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,719
And it doesn't matter which end
it is, OK, this could be the

578
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,120
good end and this could be the
negative.

579
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:22,320
When I pick up the marketing
stick and I'm thinking this is

580
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,159
going to work, I love this.
When I use that word going to,

581
00:34:25,159 --> 00:34:26,520
it could be a little far from
me.

582
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,320
I could be distancing myself
from it.

583
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:29,639
But I'm going to try to stay
positive.

584
00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:34,120
What I need to do is notice the
positive, decide that I'm going

585
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,400
to notice the things that are
working.

586
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,440
I've got two more likes today
than I did yesterday.

587
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,639
That video got way more hits.
We're going to start noticing

588
00:34:41,639 --> 00:34:44,480
what we want to notice and we're
going to decide not to notice

589
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,280
the other end.
It doesn't mean the negative

590
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,520
isn't there.
People very often say, well,

591
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:51,520
when I change my marketing, when
I change my thoughts around

592
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,520
money, when I change, well,
sure, I feel great inside, but

593
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,040
then the crap hits.
Well, because you've picked up

594
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,280
the whole stick, you don't just
get to pick up the positive end.

595
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,280
The negative comes as well.
That's the law of contrast.

596
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,280
You can't avoid that.
But are you going to continue to

597
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,000
look at that negative end or are
you deciding?

598
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,200
You know what?
I realize that that's there, but

599
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,800
what I really want is this and
I'm going to start focusing

600
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,880
because where we spend our time,
our money and our energy

601
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,200
energetically is what we
attract.

602
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:27,440
So yeah, I don't makes sense.
I love that and I'm I'm a big

603
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:32,720
fan of the Esther Hicks.
So we're I'm right here with

604
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:37,200
you.
There's this thing I used to do

605
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,840
back in the day and I and I
really should start doing it

606
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,840
again.
In fact, zip.

607
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,720
I don't like the word should
either Take that out of the hook

608
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,160
that I will start doing again.
And I'm trying to remember what

609
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:51,720
it's called, but essentially I
would record myself.

610
00:35:51,720 --> 00:35:56,200
So I would spend some time
either writing or typing up a

611
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,000
scenario of where I want my year
to be this year.

612
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:05,760
And it might come to me what
it's called and it's kind of a

613
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,520
form of manifesting and it
included, you know dollar

614
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,600
amounts, just a whole scenario
of the year.

615
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,560
And this is a great time and
we're, as we record this is

616
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:23,480
early on in January 2025.
And what happens is you create

617
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:28,120
this whole scenario and you
record it in your voice and then

618
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,480
you listen to it on a regular
basis.

619
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,320
It's almost like an audio vision
board.

620
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,000
But what you're doing from a
scientific standpoint is you're

621
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:42,760
creating those neural pathways
to be able to recognize, first

622
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:46,760
of all, accept the this is a
potential reality because your

623
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:48,920
mind doesn't know.
That's why you get scared when

624
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,760
you're watching TV and something
scary happens.

625
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,800
It's not happening, but your
mind doesn't know that.

626
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:58,320
So you have the reaction of it,
but also because it's such a

627
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:03,520
great way to really prepare
yourself for actually, again,

628
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,360
manifesting these things because
you've already laid it out.

629
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,880
And there's a level of
specificity and then there's a

630
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:15,880
level of like allowing, which is
kind of a balancing act.

631
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,480
But that's part of the the
equation of doing this.

632
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,440
And do you know what it's called
'cause I can't remember.

633
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,720
I used to do this all the time
and there's a name for it.

634
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:27,040
And if I think about it and I
think.

635
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,640
It's along the lines I heard it
called a couple of things.

636
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,640
Some people talk about it being
creating end scenes where they

637
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,560
would like this sort of thing to
turn out like a like a movie

638
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:39,960
trailer, but an end scene for
your life potentially that's

639
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:42,160
what you're.
But I know this is what I take

640
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,200
my clients through with their
self concept script.

641
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,640
OK, well picture yourself in
that situation in that ideal

642
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,120
day.
Run through the feelings, the

643
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,720
emotions and the actions of that
day and the character of the

644
00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:58,280
person who is having that day.
That's your self concept script.

645
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,000
And that is what we play over
and over again, whether we, you

646
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,240
know, have it on audio or every
time we start the car, we have

647
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:07,000
it stack or you know, maybe we
write it out.

648
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,280
Some people still love to write
stuff out.

649
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:13,280
Whatever works for you.
But you're right, there is a lot

650
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,120
of science to it.
We are making those neural

651
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,640
pathways.
And I really enjoyed what you

652
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:21,880
said when you you said that, you
know, you want your mind to

653
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,600
accept that it's happening.
You said words similar to that.

654
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:29,760
Because when what we were
looking for to happen actually

655
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:34,200
happens, we want it to be, of
course, of course this happened.

656
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,760
I knew it would happen.
That's the level of belief we

657
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,520
have.
It's not even belief, it's

658
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:43,080
knowing.
And that that gentle knowing is

659
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,440
the area that we love to vibe in
when it comes to anything that

660
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,880
we're dreaming of in our vision
in our future.

661
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,800
I have a few friends who are in
the dating market right now.

662
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,400
I know exactly what they're
going through with the apps and

663
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:56,960
the ridiculousness.
They need you.

664
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:02,320
I'm sending them your number.
But in reality, when we hang on

665
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,360
too tight, when we want
something so badly, when we're

666
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:09,920
trying so hard, we're keeping it
away, that's that constricted

667
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,000
feeling.
Again, we need that open

668
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,680
feeling.
And gratitude is very, very

669
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,480
open.
And that's why that is such a

670
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,640
good emotion for us to feel.
And then it's like, oh, yeah, I

671
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,480
knew this was going to happen.
I knew I'd meet my special

672
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,400
partner.
I knew that this would work.

673
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,920
And that knowing is is very
powerful.

674
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,960
That's one of our best emotions
to have there.

675
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,040
Yeah, it's interesting what you
just said about wanting it so

676
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:38,840
bad, because as much as people
think that that's a want, it's

677
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:45,600
more of a feeling of lack and
desperation, guys, as, you know,

678
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,040
a want, it's really not, you
know, it's not a matter of fact

679
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,600
like, yeah, I want, I want this
pen.

680
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,520
No, it's like that, that when
you get to that point, you've

681
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:58,440
shifted into the LAX space and
the desperation, which doesn't

682
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,760
is not conducive.
I remember what that thing is

683
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,360
called.
It's called scripting.

684
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,160
I'm sure there's other names for
it, but yeah, I used to do that

685
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,200
a lot and it really.
Really, really helped and what's

686
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:11,240
really weird is when I was a
teenager, I think I was like 15

687
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:14,480
years old, I would have these
conversations with God with the

688
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,800
universe, whatever it wasn't you
could call it a prayer, but it

689
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:22,400
really wasn't a prayer and I
would script like literally, I

690
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:26,120
looked like a crazy person.
This is before the earplugs were

691
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:30,240
in just having a conversation
with God, but and with myself at

692
00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:32,400
the same time about all the
things that I was going to

693
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:37,560
accomplish and but in saying it
as if it had already happened

694
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:41,720
and it would happen all the
time, but I would take action.

695
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:45,480
And that's an area that is so
important to talk about because

696
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,000
manifesting is not sitting and
waiting.

697
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,800
That's called expectation.
When you sit and wait and you're

698
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:54,920
expecting manifestation is
recognizing, visioning,

699
00:40:54,920 --> 00:41:01,200
recognizing, doing and then not
going into the desperate mode of

700
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,800
the the energy because the
energy is what's going to

701
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,400
attract it even we'll we'll
expedite that coming in.

702
00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:13,280
Yeah, desperation is a very low
energy and it's a stirring and

703
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:17,600
it reminds me of rodents.
And it's, well, it's, it's funny

704
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,160
because the minute I say that
people go, oh, no, actually,

705
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,080
yeah, that's where I was.
Yeah.

706
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:26,120
And that shifting of that, by
the way, it's really rough to

707
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:30,800
shift from desperation to joy.
I mean, there's a lot of levels

708
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,600
in between there.
So just any upshift is good.

709
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:39,440
But I love what you said about
taking action and, you know,

710
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,760
having the vision that is our
vision, it is worthy of us

711
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,480
because we came up with it.
And if it's for that special

712
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,040
person or that amount of money
or the business, success is our

713
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,840
vision to have, but it's also
our butt to move.

714
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:57,120
And it doesn't mean hustle.
It means inspired action.

715
00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:01,640
It means taking opportunities.
It means checking your energy

716
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,440
and keeping it where it needs to
be.

717
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,560
More so than I, I really, you
know, when I was a teacher, it

718
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,400
was hustle.
Hard hurry, hard hustle.

719
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:12,720
And there's always more to be
done to outshine here, to coach

720
00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:17,480
that, to teach crazy.
And now I realize I was keeping

721
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:21,240
most of my success away because
I was in the hurry hard that

722
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,520
really need it feel instead of
you know what?

723
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,520
I know what my vision is.
I'm going to spend a few

724
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,400
moments, like you said, with the
script or in the scene I'm going

725
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,800
to visualize.
And then I might even ask

726
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,400
myself, OK, what are my business
actions today?

727
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,240
And is there any other action
that I should take today?

728
00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:40,360
And I, I'll hear a response
within me that's tapping into

729
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,440
that intuition.
And sometimes it sounds a little

730
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:48,280
different, those intuitive hits
of what I should do today, but I

731
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:52,800
do them to illustrate, you know,
there's three or four things

732
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,120
that I do every day for my
business.

733
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:57,400
And every business will have its
list of those money making,

734
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,640
client helping activities that
we do.

735
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,400
But then I closed my eyes and I
said, what should I do today to

736
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,680
move my business forward?
And it was take a walk.

737
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:11,800
I'm like, sure, no, take a walk.
And it was in an area that I've

738
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:16,600
never been to before.
And I'm like, OK, And I go for

739
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:20,160
that walk and I stop to take a
picture at a beautiful outlook,

740
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,600
and there's someone sitting at
the bench.

741
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,760
And that turned into a client.
Now, did I know that that was

742
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,280
going to happen?
No.

743
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:30,200
But did I say hello?
Did I greet that person with the

744
00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:33,000
energy of the person for whom
everything's already worked out?

745
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,360
Yes, I did.
That was me showing up.

746
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,920
That was me taking action.
And that's the part that we

747
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:43,240
don't always know what it's
going to be, but the action is

748
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:47,880
so imperative.
I love everything you just said

749
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:51,800
and I really hope that any
business owner, entrepreneur

750
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:57,400
listening to this recognizes
that this is part of business as

751
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,440
well.
And even going for that walk,

752
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:02,640
maybe maybe you didn't meet
someone that would turn into a

753
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:07,040
client, but you thought of an
idea that could elevate your

754
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:11,680
business Because we need that
opportunity to tap in to

755
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:16,240
ourselves and not be in the
hurry, hurry, rat race that

756
00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:19,240
could easily become when you're
in a business.

757
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,640
And I always tell people like
there are times you have, if you

758
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:25,840
are doing all the work, if
you're a solopreneur, you also

759
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,840
need to work on your business.
And to work on your business,

760
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:32,120
you can't be doing the thing.
You need to step back.

761
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,600
You need to take a vacation.
You need to go read a book and

762
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:40,960
get inspiration to really get to
Oh, wow, that's a great idea.

763
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:45,160
This is something I want to add
to my to my offering or this

764
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:49,240
could supplement my my course
right now like you.

765
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:54,160
But you need that pause.
And I love that you said tap in

766
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,640
because we were talking about it
before.

767
00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:00,960
But the brain filters so much
information on a regular basis,

768
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,840
and it has a lot of repetitive
thoughts.

769
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:08,560
And a good percentage of not 90%
is negative because it's always

770
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:12,640
trying to protect us.
So when you do some breath work

771
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,640
and you pause and you meditate,
first of all, there's a lot of

772
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:19,960
science that shows that this is
really good for you on many

773
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,160
levels, right?
Because there could be some

774
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,160
stress that comes with owning a
business.

775
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:29,880
But you tap in, you tap in, I
know a little bit to the to

776
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,240
what's happening inside.
You're pausing and you're

777
00:45:32,240 --> 00:45:35,040
saying, wait, there's so much
that I know there's so much

778
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,080
that's been filtered, but I'm
going to tap into it and this is

779
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,320
going to come up and those
answers are going to come.

780
00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:43,760
And you're going to be like, was
I mean, it was coming from the

781
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,840
inside or it's being downloaded.
I don't know.

782
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,800
Sometimes I feel like I get
downloads, especially when I was

783
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:52,000
coaching, but because somehow I
would get the right words that I

784
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,280
have to say.
But you need those pauses, and

785
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,200
I'm so glad that you talked
about that.

786
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,280
Take those.
It is super important and

787
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,000
remember the pauses are
different for everyone.

788
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,520
I've got a friend who goes for a
massage and that's when her

789
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:07,960
downloads come and she knows and
I honestly use walking a lot.

790
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,200
You're so right.
Just the other day I took a walk

791
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,080
and before I left I thought I
need a name for my new offer.

792
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:17,360
I don't know what it is. 3
blocks later I had the name and

793
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,600
I didn't do anything in my mind
but enjoy my walk and the name

794
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,840
came and I.
I think that as long as we're

795
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,480
willing to listen, the answer is
there.

796
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,600
And that answer is sometimes
self-care, but the answer is

797
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:32,160
also sometimes get up and do
this XYZ.

798
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,360
And I wish that the answer was
always something beautiful, self

799
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:39,880
careish, but that you know the
action is necessary.

800
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:43,080
And that's those two things put
together.

801
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,960
If it's inspired action, you
feel enough.

802
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:50,760
It's one of the best things
about becoming a coach is I have

803
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,800
decided once my list of things
that I do in a day is done

804
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,440
enough, I am enough.
It is enough.

805
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,280
My marketing is working, my
business is growing and I'm out.

806
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,240
I go relax and that's a really
nice place to be.

807
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:09,040
That that's so wonderful.
And you know, this of course,

808
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,160
has been such an enlightening
conversation.

809
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:16,200
I love this stuff, Suzanne.
And before we go, what's one

810
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,960
piece of advice you'd like to
share with matchmakers and their

811
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:24,200
and possibly their clients about
staying aligned with their goals

812
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:28,200
and manifesting their dreams,
especially now that people

813
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,880
probably have already given up
on their New Year's resolution.

814
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:37,000
So what what would you say you
know would could keep them

815
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,760
focused and and staying aligned
with their goals?

816
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:46,520
I think honestly if you're a
visual person, it's going to be

817
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,600
a vision board.
It could be putting the visual

818
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,520
on the back of your or sorry on
the screen of your phone.

819
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,640
But those things are really
secondary.

820
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:59,080
The primary function of them is
what you feel.

821
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,160
And you need to feel into those
visions.

822
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,640
You need to feel into maybe the
new self script that you're

823
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,600
telling yourself because those
feelings, if this vision truly

824
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:12,720
Revs you up, those feelings will
renew your motivation daily.

825
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,800
And when I, let's say I do want
to go to the gym and lose a

826
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:20,160
certain amount of weight, the
vision of maybe I've got some

827
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,360
health goals or something to put
on my vision board.

828
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,280
That vision, looking at it might
make me grumpy.

829
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,080
But if I feel into how would it
feel to be the person for whom

830
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:34,880
that waistline is real or that
marathon time is real?

831
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:40,000
When I feel into that, that's
what fires my passion and my

832
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,720
purpose and gets me going again
all the time.

833
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:45,960
So that's that motivation that
really pulls the it's the

834
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,480
frequency.
This frequency seems to be the

835
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,920
answer to almost everything.
Yeah, it's the frequency, it's

836
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:55,680
the feeling, it's the why.
Where can our audience learn

837
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:59,160
more about your work and the
tools you offer for life design

838
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:03,680
and manifestation?
I'm on Instagram at Suzanne M

839
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:08,840
Bloom and honestly, I'm on
Facebook at the same account and

840
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:13,040
BB coachingacademy.com is where
people can find me and our

841
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:16,560
courses and what we do.
And it's honestly just such a

842
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,680
privilege to talk with you.
Arlene, I love your questions.

843
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,200
I love how tuned and tapped in
you are.

844
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,600
The fact that we both love
Esther Hicks, this is awesome.

845
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,360
We should have been talking a
long time ago.

846
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,520
And I'm sure we will stay in
touch and of course, we'll share

847
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,880
all of your contact information
in the show notes.

848
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,000
And thank you so much for being
here and the work that you do

849
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:39,200
and helping so many people,
people to stay focused and

850
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,200
really manifesting their dreams
because there's enough to go

851
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,200
around.
And you know, most of it is

852
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,440
helping others, right?
Most of these businesses that

853
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,840
people have.
So we want to encourage that and

854
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,960
support them and get them out
there and staying focused.

855
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:54,360
Thank you.
Absolutely.

856
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,880
Thank you.
Have you ever felt called to

857
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,920
help others find love?
You might have the heart for

858
00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:03,160
matchmaking, but without the
right training, turning that

859
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:06,480
passion into a thriving business
can feel impossible.

860
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,760
Most matchmaking courses give
you outdated theories and a

861
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:14,400
certificate, but no real world
strategy to build a successful

862
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,000
business.
That's where Love Pro Mastermind

863
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865
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,920
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866
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,240
of client success.
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867
00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:34,800
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868
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:40,120
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869
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:44,800
clients, create a seamless
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870
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:46,920
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871
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872
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873
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874
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875
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Apply today at
lovepromastermind.com.

876
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,160
Thank you for tuning in to the
Matchmaker Mentor Podcast.

877
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:09,800
If you enjoyed this episode,
don't forget to subscribe, leave

878
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,360
a review, and share it with
fellow matchmakers and friends.

879
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,560
For more resources, training,
and inspiration, visit

880
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:20,040
lovepromastermind.com and follow
us on social media.

881
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:24,640
Remember, matchmaking isn't just
a career, it's a calling.

882
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,200
Let's keep building connections,
changing lives, and growing

883
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:31,160
together.
Until next time, stay inspired

884
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:31,720
and keep.