Dec. 25, 2025

Heal Your Wounded Inner Teenager (and Stop Generational Trauma) - with Tatjana Simakova

Heal Your Wounded Inner Teenager (and Stop Generational Trauma) - with Tatjana Simakova
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Season 3

How much of your teenage self is still showing up when you parent, love, or even react to things today? That voice that just wanted to be seen and heard?

My incredible guest, Tatjana Simakova, believes that version of us is still shaping our family dynamics, and she has built her life's work on helping us heal that unseen gap.

Tatjana's own journey is one of deep courage.

Growing up with an alcoholic mother and navigating family separation gave her a profound, lived understanding of what it means to heal from the inside out.

Now a psychotherapist, art therapist, and the founder of the S-A-L-V-U-S ParentTeen community, she has helped thousands of families move from emotional chaos to calm connection.

In this episode we talk about:

  • Why the teenage years are such a critical stage for catching and working through trauma.
  • The magic of art therapy - why getting messy can be the key to opening up and finding a non-judgmental outlet.
  • The most common shift parents can make to stop "clamping down" and start building a stronger, more trusting connection
  • Her powerful metaphor of letting your child go further away so they know they can always come back to you.
  • The one place you absolutely must start if you want to see a change in your children

This conversation is a beautiful reminder that when we do the work to reconnect with our own inner teenager, we start parenting and living from a place of much deeper understanding.

You’ll be so inspired by Tatjana's story and her amazing, heart-centered work.

You can find out more about Tatjana and her community here:

Website: https://salvus-parenting.mn.co/share/UutP_DH8-zYFhv79?utm_source=manual (to join Salvus ParenTEENg for free)

Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/salvus_psychotherapy_clinic/

Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.

And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!

Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.

Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!

WEBVTT

00:00:00.033 --> 00:00:06.182
Hello, and welcome to today's episode of Thrive after 45.

00:00:06.182 --> 00:00:14.157
I'm Denise Drink Walter heart whisperer, midlife mirror and mentor Every week I am honored to share.

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Energy and space with inspiring guests whose stories reflect so many possibilities of thriving beyond 45.

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Together we'll uncover the whispers of the heart, the power of midlife transformation, and the wisdom that fuels expansion.

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How much of your teenage self still lives within you?

00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:45.850
That voice that wanted to be seen, understood, or simply heard.

00:00:45.850 --> 00:00:52.750
Could it still be shaping the way you parent love and maybe even react today?

00:00:52.750 --> 00:00:57.710
My guess, Tatiana Kova believes it does.

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Her life's work has been.

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About bringing that unseen gap between the wounded teen inside of us and the one growing up, maybe even under our own roofs.

00:01:09.876 --> 00:01:10.566
Right now.

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Tatiana's own story is one of courage and transformation.

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Growing up with an alcoholic mother, navigating family separation and raising her own children without a support system gave her a deep lived understanding of what it means to heal from the inside out.

00:01:32.786 --> 00:01:33.245
she spent.

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More than a decade working in complex care and private practice from Pita House, supporting those at risk of suicide and self-harm to working with HSE and Tula referred foster care cases guiding both teens and parents through some of life's toughest emotional terrain.

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As a psychotherapist, art therapist, and founder of the Alvis Parenting Community, Tatiana has supported thousands of families to move from emotional chaos to calm connection, helping parents re.

00:02:11.877 --> 00:02:21.263
Build communication, set those boundaries without shame heal the generational patterns that quietly shape their families.

00:02:21.263 --> 00:02:27.263
Her message is simple but powerful when we reconnect with our inner teenager.

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We begin to parent and live from a place of deeper understanding.

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Tatiana, what a privilege to share space and time with you today.

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Thank you for being here.

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Denise, thank you very much for having me on your show.

00:02:42.531 --> 00:02:47.781
And it is my honor to be here and I'm looking forward to this's, um, chat today.

00:02:47.781 --> 00:02:48.950
Me too.

00:02:49.010 --> 00:03:03.531
As soon as we had our initial conversation and you talked about the incredible gifts that you bring to family units, to reconnect with teenagers and themselves through a journey of exploration.

00:03:04.540 --> 00:03:17.200
All of the things that you bring to the table, we would love to hear a little bit about your story so we can understand a bit of your path that helped move you to where you are here today.

00:03:17.200 --> 00:03:18.221
Yes, of course.

00:03:18.221 --> 00:03:22.811
Um, now first of all, I, I was born and raised in Lithuania.

00:03:23.270 --> 00:03:26.510
To a Russian family and I'm living in Ireland now.

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Um, so that on itself is a journey.

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Um, my childhood.

00:03:33.711 --> 00:03:38.811
Um, I think the way I see it, it was very.

00:03:40.070 --> 00:03:50.781
Inattentive, I would say, uh, where I was left to my own devices because, um, my parents separated when I was about six years, uh, of age.

00:03:51.770 --> 00:03:58.911
I, I think now looking back because of my mom's, um, addiction problems,

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right?

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And when my dad left, he didn't have the access to us children.

00:04:06.381 --> 00:04:12.230
So unfortunately there was a battle there where we didn't see him for a while.

00:04:12.290 --> 00:04:14.510
Um, and we're still living with my mom,

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right?

00:04:15.561 --> 00:04:19.161
And witnessing all the, uh, dark side of.

00:04:20.526 --> 00:04:21.966
Of, of that illness.

00:04:22.326 --> 00:04:22.625
Right.

00:04:23.016 --> 00:04:30.995
Um, I know my brother, he's four years older than me, and, um, he, he did stood up for me quite a lot.

00:04:31.026 --> 00:04:31.115
Mm-hmm.

00:04:31.146 --> 00:04:42.230
And he was protecting me from, um, he tried to protect, I mean, like he couldn't do much, but he tried to protect from witnessing too much, but mm-hmm.

00:04:42.315 --> 00:04:46.896
Um, I think neither of us were.

00:04:47.555 --> 00:04:49.266
You know, in a safe place.

00:04:49.386 --> 00:04:50.105
Yeah.

00:04:50.225 --> 00:04:50.855
Yeah.

00:04:50.946 --> 00:04:55.295
So, and that left us growing up by ourselves.

00:04:55.625 --> 00:04:55.745
Mm-hmm.

00:04:56.016 --> 00:05:09.276
So when I'm saying that no one knew where we were from morning to evening, I know I skipped a lot of school days, um, because I just didn't feel like going to school and no one knew about it.

00:05:09.966 --> 00:05:14.196
Um, we were unattended all the time.

00:05:15.005 --> 00:05:15.665
We were.

00:05:16.386 --> 00:05:21.185
I know my brother had very bad influence, um, from his friends.

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I know I started going that path as well.

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Mm-hmm.

00:05:26.105 --> 00:05:31.355
So, uh, when, when I was 13, and, uh, I'm very grateful for that.

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My dad took me in

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mm,

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into his, um, house.

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And I was growing there now while I was away from all the craziness of alcohol.

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Yeah.

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And, um, I still didn't get the.

00:05:50.435 --> 00:06:01.235
The nurturing side of it, because now my dad has his own trauma and sure didn't know how to express love, how to express affection.

00:06:01.235 --> 00:06:10.596
So it was very, it was safe environment, right and up, but very lonely and very um.

00:06:11.120 --> 00:06:14.690
I don't remember ever hearing I love you.

00:06:15.261 --> 00:06:23.271
Um, or hug me or just hang out together because, you know, we like being in the same space.

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I always refer to it.

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It was quiet because we barely talked.

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We talked only.

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What is for dinner?

00:06:32.946 --> 00:06:34.206
You know, what will I buy?

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Sure.

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Is there a milk?

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And that's it.

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Right.

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Um, and I do think that he had a different addiction, which is, um, a TV addiction.

00:06:45.425 --> 00:06:45.665
Okay.

00:06:45.755 --> 00:06:46.055
Yeah.

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So as far as I remember, as I remember, my dad, he was watching tv.

00:06:51.545 --> 00:06:51.815
Mm-hmm.

00:06:52.086 --> 00:06:54.005
He was watching TV while eating.

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He was watching TV while going to bed.

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So that was.

00:06:58.175 --> 00:07:06.786
I think, yeah, the way he was covering his own pain and loneliness and inability to connect.

00:07:07.985 --> 00:07:12.365
Um, so that's how, that's the environment I

00:07:12.425 --> 00:07:13.055
sure.

00:07:13.295 --> 00:07:15.336
Continued growing up.

00:07:15.336 --> 00:07:22.295
So as you can, um, imagine nurturing site wasn't there, right?

00:07:22.625 --> 00:07:22.745
Um.

00:07:23.855 --> 00:07:30.156
The worm, worm side wasn't there, you know, and I'm, I love my parents deeply.

00:07:30.425 --> 00:07:30.786
Mm-hmm.

00:07:31.505 --> 00:07:32.225
Can imagine.

00:07:32.225 --> 00:07:39.005
I did go through a path of, excuse me, I worked through that pain.

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I

00:07:39.125 --> 00:07:39.636
worked

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right.

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Yeah.

00:07:41.255 --> 00:07:51.185
Uh, and it was a long path, uh, for me, but I found the way to, I never fully reconnected with my mom.

00:07:51.915 --> 00:07:51.956
Okay.

00:07:51.961 --> 00:07:56.360
Before she died, um, uh, she died two years ago.

00:07:56.661 --> 00:07:56.781
Okay.

00:07:57.350 --> 00:08:02.211
And, um, I suppose I wasn't in touch with her for many years before that.

00:08:02.721 --> 00:08:03.170
Mm-hmm.

00:08:03.411 --> 00:08:06.350
Well, in my mind and my heart, she was always there.

00:08:06.350 --> 00:08:10.521
She was always, um, she still, always with me.

00:08:10.550 --> 00:08:11.391
Mm-hmm.

00:08:11.391 --> 00:08:20.180
With my dad as adults, I, I think I had good enough relationship, but it wasn't the one where I could go.

00:08:20.810 --> 00:08:21.740
And chat to him.

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Right.

00:08:22.310 --> 00:08:28.130
When me leaving in Ireland, we didn't have daily or even weekly phone calls.

00:08:28.730 --> 00:08:28.821
Mm-hmm.

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You know, I suppose he assumed if I'm not calling, but bad news I am.

00:08:33.171 --> 00:08:33.801
Okay.

00:08:34.730 --> 00:08:35.240
Yeah.

00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:35.250
Yeah.

00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:44.360
So, um, but in saying that, I did my best to bring my own children back to Lithuania and connect and it was important.

00:08:44.691 --> 00:08:44.841
Mm-hmm.

00:08:45.171 --> 00:08:49.850
And, um, he passed away last year and I think.

00:08:51.350 --> 00:08:53.900
The whole year before him passing.

00:08:54.321 --> 00:08:56.691
Um, we had some connection.

00:08:56.721 --> 00:08:57.801
Very quiet, though.

00:08:58.041 --> 00:09:05.270
It wasn't, uh, now I was saying that I love him, but, um, it was, the response was yes.

00:09:05.586 --> 00:09:06.620
Right, right.

00:09:06.831 --> 00:09:07.221
Yeah.

00:09:07.431 --> 00:09:07.821
Yeah.

00:09:07.971 --> 00:09:13.760
Um, you know, so even then it was very difficult for him to say, yeah, you know, I love you back.

00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:14.750
Mm-hmm.

00:09:15.395 --> 00:09:29.225
So, um, and that this journey, um, working on my own emotions and on my own self-esteem, uh, brought me to where I am in my career.

00:09:29.495 --> 00:09:31.326
So in a way, I became.

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Who I really wanted to have in my life as a team, someone who I can talk to, someone who I can trust, someone who I can just drop my problems onto and, you know, feel that yeah.

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Relief, um, in myself.

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Amazing.

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I can't even begin to imagine the journey that you had to take even after everything you endured during the tumultuous time, going into you breaking away and learning about more of who you are as a person and how what has happened to you isn't a reflection of you, but a reflection of those who were not able to, for whatever their reasons were that.

00:10:22.505 --> 00:10:42.905
We're not here to chat about, but what I love about what you just shared in particular is that you have such a depth of understanding of those teenage years and what is actually needed because you not only survived, but you thrived.

00:10:43.596 --> 00:10:46.265
And look at what you are doing now.

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Like.

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My heart just goes, you know, the Grinch where his heart just goes, blows through the end with the rectangle at the end of the show.

00:10:56.375 --> 00:11:13.745
That's what's coming through for me right now because you, I I, we would love to know more about why teenage, why that, um, what's the word I'm coming up with?

00:11:13.745 --> 00:11:14.735
I'm stuck right now.

00:11:14.735 --> 00:11:15.696
Why that the stage.

00:11:17.091 --> 00:11:17.510
Stage.

00:11:17.510 --> 00:11:17.841
Yeah.

00:11:17.900 --> 00:11:19.760
Why that stage in particular?

00:11:19.760 --> 00:11:33.051
Thank you love, and I'd love to know more around the idea of art therapy and how, how that is important in the work that you do as well.

00:11:33.500 --> 00:11:33.801
Yeah.

00:11:35.091 --> 00:11:36.650
Well, what I see is.

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I think the teenage years is the earliest, when we can catch and work on that trauma because children adapt, right?

00:11:49.880 --> 00:11:55.010
And for children, they adapt to any kind of environment and it becomes norm for them.

00:11:55.250 --> 00:11:59.091
So me growing up as a child, I didn't know any difference, you know?

00:11:59.091 --> 00:11:59.181
Right.

00:11:59.211 --> 00:12:00.711
That was normal for me.

00:12:01.191 --> 00:12:06.410
Um, so only growing up and seeing other families.

00:12:06.605 --> 00:12:11.046
Um, my friends' families said, oh, it doesn't have to be that, that way.

00:12:11.316 --> 00:12:11.405
Right.

00:12:11.405 --> 00:12:12.696
It can be different.

00:12:13.025 --> 00:12:13.446
Right.

00:12:13.895 --> 00:12:19.416
So I think when we become, uh, we become, we were there as well, so mm-hmm.

00:12:19.655 --> 00:12:21.140
When we become teenagers mm-hmm.

00:12:21.225 --> 00:12:28.625
Because of their brain development, we kind of connect the dots of what happened.

00:12:29.115 --> 00:12:33.466
And then now not only we start questioning, who am I now?

00:12:33.466 --> 00:12:33.556
Right?

00:12:33.855 --> 00:12:36.615
Because that's just natural process.

00:12:36.916 --> 00:12:42.196
We start questioning, who am I now as a result of what happened to me?

00:12:42.201 --> 00:12:42.370
Mm

00:12:42.551 --> 00:12:42.971
mm-hmm.

00:12:43.051 --> 00:12:43.211
Right?

00:12:43.216 --> 00:12:43.275
Mm-hmm.

00:12:43.515 --> 00:12:44.655
Where as a child.

00:12:45.321 --> 00:12:52.280
I mightn't have understood what was happening to me, but now I connect the dots.

00:12:52.280 --> 00:12:52.971
Love that.

00:12:53.061 --> 00:12:53.211
Mm-hmm.

00:12:53.451 --> 00:12:54.530
That's not normal.

00:12:54.740 --> 00:12:56.061
I want answers.

00:12:56.360 --> 00:13:04.041
And um, I do find that, um, a lot of the times trauma resurface at that stage.

00:13:04.191 --> 00:13:04.791
Okay,

00:13:05.331 --> 00:13:05.510
perfect.

00:13:05.510 --> 00:13:12.921
So while working with children, of course it is very important, um, but you can't.

00:13:13.296 --> 00:13:18.936
Push the trauma into boxes and put it away while they're still young.

00:13:19.206 --> 00:13:19.355
Sure.

00:13:19.355 --> 00:13:22.836
Where teenage years, you can try and do that.

00:13:23.196 --> 00:13:26.466
But that's my, you know, favorite line.

00:13:26.466 --> 00:13:33.370
And I say to every client of mine, every teenager that I work with, no matter what, we will achieve.

00:13:34.155 --> 00:13:42.946
During our work, before they get into a serious relationship, they need to go back to therapy and work on that again.

00:13:43.365 --> 00:13:43.696
Right.

00:13:44.145 --> 00:13:45.346
As adults then.

00:13:45.796 --> 00:13:49.816
So I think it's a kind of stage work, uh, or work

00:13:49.816 --> 00:13:50.265
love that,

00:13:50.475 --> 00:13:52.275
that you do in stages.

00:13:52.725 --> 00:13:57.525
Because when they're team, there's only so much they can understand still.

00:13:57.855 --> 00:13:59.115
They're still not adults.

00:13:59.115 --> 00:14:02.686
Their brain is still not developed, so they will.

00:14:03.605 --> 00:14:11.946
Again, make boxes and make understanding of whatever happened to them, um, to a certain degree, right?

00:14:11.946 --> 00:14:12.576
Mm-hmm.

00:14:12.755 --> 00:14:21.755
And then they start developing more and specifically know before entering any relationship they need right.

00:14:21.905 --> 00:14:22.566
Do again.

00:14:22.716 --> 00:14:23.870
And that's my belief.

00:14:23.946 --> 00:14:28.115
That's what I do think is beneficial for them.

00:14:28.115 --> 00:14:30.005
And a, and art therapy.

00:14:30.005 --> 00:14:31.206
How, how?

00:14:32.030 --> 00:14:36.291
What's the beauty in art therapy that you find in your work?

00:14:38.285 --> 00:14:39.485
It's the mess, isn't it?

00:14:41.571 --> 00:14:42.321
There we go.

00:14:44.405 --> 00:14:54.426
We, I think now, first of all, it's almost a medium where a teen, they don't have to look me in the eyes.

00:14:55.326 --> 00:14:55.446
Yes.

00:14:55.446 --> 00:14:59.615
You know, because when we sit in front of each other, it's very unnatural environment.

00:15:00.495 --> 00:15:07.666
Uh, naturally we wouldn't sit in front of each other, stare at each other and say, okay, tell me everything what you feel.

00:15:07.696 --> 00:15:08.056
Right?

00:15:08.086 --> 00:15:15.615
And here they, they kind of ask to sit down in front of a therapist, look them in the eye, um, and mm-hmm.

00:15:15.975 --> 00:15:17.806
They don't know that person, first of all.

00:15:18.225 --> 00:15:18.316
Mm-hmm.

00:15:18.316 --> 00:15:18.326
Right?

00:15:18.326 --> 00:15:18.336
Mm-hmm.

00:15:18.436 --> 00:15:21.436
And pour all of their pain out.

00:15:21.436 --> 00:15:21.525
Yes.

00:15:21.556 --> 00:15:22.821
So that might be difficult.

00:15:24.426 --> 00:15:33.186
So Art, uh, gives this opportunity while creating something and concentrating on whatever it is, doodling.

00:15:33.515 --> 00:15:35.556
Um, they keep talking to me.

00:15:35.916 --> 00:15:36.306
Sure.

00:15:36.426 --> 00:15:39.426
So that's, that's one way of using art.

00:15:39.995 --> 00:15:44.436
Um, another way we live in a very structured world.

00:15:45.426 --> 00:15:45.515
Yeah.

00:15:45.515 --> 00:15:47.105
Um, you know, at school they have.

00:15:48.230 --> 00:15:54.650
Whatever time in your country is, you know, they have say nine to four o'clock, half past four.

00:15:54.650 --> 00:15:54.740
Right.

00:15:55.250 --> 00:15:59.510
Um, they have their classes, they come back home.

00:15:59.510 --> 00:16:03.051
They do either their after school activities or homework.

00:16:03.350 --> 00:16:03.441
Mm-hmm.

00:16:03.441 --> 00:16:04.671
So it's very structured.

00:16:04.671 --> 00:16:05.240
There is Right.

00:16:06.020 --> 00:16:08.811
Little kind of flexibility.

00:16:08.811 --> 00:16:08.900
Mm-hmm.

00:16:09.591 --> 00:16:12.081
And I think art can provide that.

00:16:12.321 --> 00:16:14.120
It can provide just mess.

00:16:14.436 --> 00:16:22.296
And put them to be messy and not to worry, to make that mess on the table.

00:16:22.535 --> 00:16:25.056
And I say it straight away, don't worry about my table.

00:16:25.265 --> 00:16:25.326
Yeah.

00:16:25.326 --> 00:16:27.306
Don't worry about my, uh, walls.

00:16:27.365 --> 00:16:28.025
It's fine.

00:16:28.056 --> 00:16:28.475
It can be.

00:16:28.475 --> 00:16:28.985
Love it.

00:16:30.066 --> 00:16:38.046
And, um, especially nine, 10 years of age children, they love just pouring paint.

00:16:38.225 --> 00:16:38.495
Yeah.

00:16:38.495 --> 00:16:39.186
And testing it.

00:16:39.905 --> 00:16:43.566
You know, slime is another thing again, it's um

00:16:43.571 --> 00:16:43.681
mm-hmm.

00:16:44.510 --> 00:16:51.801
Sensory activity that, um, relaxes them and allows them to open up

00:16:52.760 --> 00:16:52.971
a bit more.

00:16:53.931 --> 00:16:54.260
Yeah.

00:16:55.581 --> 00:17:01.791
To me it also seems like it is an outlet, um, and brings in the.

00:17:02.600 --> 00:17:06.471
Ability to play without, you know, it has to look like this, right?

00:17:06.471 --> 00:17:16.520
So get to play with it and just release stuff that's sitting in there that needs to get released in a way that's non-confrontational, non-judgmental, just free.

00:17:16.611 --> 00:17:17.211
I love that.

00:17:17.516 --> 00:17:17.756
Absolutely.

00:17:18.171 --> 00:17:18.651
Absolutely

00:17:18.651 --> 00:17:19.671
love that.

00:17:19.820 --> 00:17:24.796
Getting out of the box and getting out schedules and you know, yeah.

00:17:25.401 --> 00:17:26.330
That's the world.

00:17:26.570 --> 00:17:30.800
They can create anything, um, and they can be anything.

00:17:30.980 --> 00:17:31.520
Mm-hmm.

00:17:31.580 --> 00:17:32.721
In that moment.

00:17:33.260 --> 00:17:33.441
Mm-hmm.

00:17:34.101 --> 00:17:35.721
So it's very empowering.

00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:37.101
Love that.

00:17:37.550 --> 00:17:38.510
Yeah, love that.

00:17:39.351 --> 00:17:46.431
Um, I wonder if you could tell us a little bit about your community.

00:17:46.851 --> 00:17:47.750
I love the name.

00:17:48.905 --> 00:17:53.826
Um, I, I, I'm gonna spell it for the audience because it's very unique.

00:17:54.395 --> 00:17:58.355
Um, it's Salva, S-A-L-V-U-S parent.

00:17:59.346 --> 00:18:05.826
P-A-R-E-N, capital, T-E-E-N-G, parenting.

00:18:06.155 --> 00:18:07.776
I love that.

00:18:08.405 --> 00:18:13.655
Tell us about what the intent of that community is, if you don't mind.

00:18:13.661 --> 00:18:13.721
Yes,

00:18:13.895 --> 00:18:14.195
yes.

00:18:14.286 --> 00:18:19.086
And I did want, uh, to have that teen in the name.

00:18:19.715 --> 00:18:28.506
So, um, it's out there, it is about, um, now it becomes not directly about a four.

00:18:28.770 --> 00:18:29.550
Teenagers.

00:18:29.550 --> 00:18:29.851
Right.

00:18:29.881 --> 00:18:32.280
It's more for the parents of teenagers.

00:18:32.286 --> 00:18:32.425
Yeah.

00:18:32.820 --> 00:18:32.941
Yeah.

00:18:33.181 --> 00:18:40.441
Um, because you know, I mentioned before I wanted to become the person who I needed Yeah.

00:18:40.800 --> 00:18:41.671
Growing up.

00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:55.590
But with this community, I wanted to become the person for the parents who needs a little bit support, who needs a little bit of, um, connection and learning and, um.

00:18:57.215 --> 00:18:59.016
You know, that's the idea.

00:18:59.016 --> 00:18:59.046
Okay.

00:18:59.316 --> 00:19:03.516
Now the, the platform is at its baby stage.

00:19:03.786 --> 00:19:04.115
Sure.

00:19:04.506 --> 00:19:06.036
Um, but it's up and running.

00:19:06.425 --> 00:19:06.576
Love it.

00:19:07.175 --> 00:19:09.996
You know, there are a lot of free resources.

00:19:10.115 --> 00:19:10.205
Mm-hmm.

00:19:10.715 --> 00:19:20.165
Um, there are, um, some paid resources, but the idea is sure that we can't wear a child, um, by ourselves.

00:19:20.165 --> 00:19:21.125
We need a village.

00:19:21.546 --> 00:19:22.415
Mm-hmm.

00:19:22.445 --> 00:19:34.445
So I'm creating that village and it is ever growing, uh, village of not only parents, um, where yes, parents can connect among themselves there.

00:19:34.445 --> 00:19:38.885
They can ask questions, but also I am inviting professionals.

00:19:39.010 --> 00:19:40.326
Nice, nice of all

00:19:41.226 --> 00:19:44.675
walks to share their work, um mm-hmm.

00:19:44.915 --> 00:19:46.205
And to share their knowledge.

00:19:46.385 --> 00:19:47.421
And again, we are.

00:19:48.455 --> 00:19:51.155
They're together learning from each other.

00:19:51.185 --> 00:19:53.526
I'm learning from other experts.

00:19:54.036 --> 00:19:56.076
I'm learning from other parents as well.

00:19:56.076 --> 00:19:57.365
I'm a parent myself.

00:19:57.905 --> 00:20:03.965
And um, there is a lot of knowledge and it is growing, which is brilliant and people have interest in that.

00:20:05.855 --> 00:20:07.355
There is a yes.

00:20:07.355 --> 00:20:08.556
I'm very excited.

00:20:08.556 --> 00:20:17.826
It's a couple of months old only, and, um, love that, hoping to grow it into something really big and powerful.

00:20:19.115 --> 00:20:20.530
I, I have no doubt.

00:20:21.276 --> 00:20:25.836
In my mind, my body, my heart, and my soul, that it will grow exponentially.

00:20:26.346 --> 00:20:36.875
The work I've done in the past as an educator and as a, in my early, um, parts of the coaching career that I'm creating in the journey that I'm on there is.

00:20:37.131 --> 00:20:55.221
Such a thirst for parents to connect with their children, and the world is changing exponentially and um, parents are getting blocked all the way around and they don't know if they're blocking themselves or what's going on.

00:20:55.221 --> 00:20:55.340
So I'm.

00:20:56.306 --> 00:21:02.455
So grateful that A, it's in the early stages and b, I know it's going to grow.

00:21:02.516 --> 00:21:07.496
I know there is such a need out there for the work that you're putting into that community.

00:21:07.826 --> 00:21:10.736
Is it available worldwide to our listeners?

00:21:10.736 --> 00:21:12.806
It is absolutely worldwide.

00:21:12.806 --> 00:21:14.276
Anyone can connect.

00:21:15.115 --> 00:21:15.296
Perfect.

00:21:15.296 --> 00:21:17.425
Anyone can download the resources.

00:21:17.455 --> 00:21:18.230
It's um, okay.

00:21:18.590 --> 00:21:23.721
It's, it's ama and this is amazing that anyone can join.

00:21:24.471 --> 00:21:24.590
Yeah.

00:21:24.590 --> 00:21:27.770
You know, anyone can be from any part of the world.

00:21:27.770 --> 00:21:27.861
Yes.

00:21:28.701 --> 00:21:30.290
And share their experiences.

00:21:30.290 --> 00:21:31.986
I think it's, it's fascinating.

00:21:32.125 --> 00:21:32.346
Um,

00:21:32.496 --> 00:21:33.320
it's lovely.

00:21:33.411 --> 00:21:36.111
It's so powerful and empowering.

00:21:36.681 --> 00:21:40.671
So we will have all this information in the show notes For sure.

00:21:40.671 --> 00:21:43.101
So that people can access that information.

00:21:43.520 --> 00:21:43.701
Thank you.

00:21:43.790 --> 00:21:47.465
I'm, I just love the idea and I love that you just.

00:21:48.635 --> 00:21:49.506
Let's go.

00:21:49.625 --> 00:21:51.185
That's, that's my girl.

00:21:53.675 --> 00:21:59.675
We can think all day long and nothing happens, but, and like you say, I don't know, this is kind of my vision.

00:21:59.855 --> 00:22:01.625
If we don't even start, we can't.

00:22:02.300 --> 00:22:03.681
Get moving on any of it.

00:22:03.681 --> 00:22:09.441
So thank you for, for putting that together and love the title, love Parenting.

00:22:09.441 --> 00:22:10.526
Oh, thank you so much.

00:22:10.550 --> 00:22:11.060
Love that.

00:22:11.060 --> 00:22:11.721
It's brilliant.

00:22:11.840 --> 00:22:12.441
Yes.

00:22:12.891 --> 00:22:22.431
Um, I would absolutely love to know, and it might not be the right kind of question, but I'm.

00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:24.230
Pop it in here anyway.

00:22:24.530 --> 00:22:24.921
Yes, of course.

00:22:25.280 --> 00:22:38.270
What do many or most parents get, quote unquote wrong about teenage behavior and how can they shift that without losing connection?

00:22:39.441 --> 00:22:39.530
Yes.

00:22:42.786 --> 00:22:45.935
Now, first of all, no one is doing anything wrong.

00:22:46.355 --> 00:22:46.746
Okay.

00:22:46.746 --> 00:22:48.576
We are all just human beings.

00:22:48.635 --> 00:22:52.115
And it's not about pointing the finger.

00:22:52.415 --> 00:22:52.566
Yeah.

00:22:52.566 --> 00:22:56.526
It's not about, you know, we're not feeling as, as parents.

00:22:56.976 --> 00:22:59.296
Um, but it's to understand that.

00:23:00.230 --> 00:23:07.550
When we change something in our reactions, they have no choice but change as well.

00:23:08.030 --> 00:23:16.250
And a very common thing that I see with parents is if you imagine when a child is small, child is here.

00:23:16.621 --> 00:23:22.471
Um, I dunno, are we, are you going to leave a video or is it just um, a voice?

00:23:22.471 --> 00:23:22.861
We do,

00:23:22.951 --> 00:23:28.201
we do voice and video so we can explain what you're doing in your, with your hands as we go.

00:23:28.951 --> 00:23:29.461
Thank you.

00:23:29.461 --> 00:23:33.181
Because I have it on both platforms, podcast and YouTube, so, yeah.

00:23:33.181 --> 00:23:33.211
Okay.

00:23:33.211 --> 00:23:34.560
It depends on our listeners.

00:23:36.330 --> 00:23:36.631
Perfect.

00:23:36.635 --> 00:23:39.121
I'll try and explain it, um, verbally as well.

00:23:39.121 --> 00:23:39.451
So.

00:23:39.530 --> 00:23:48.816
When a child is small, we tend to tell them what to do and talk to them kind of from up and down, right?

00:23:48.820 --> 00:23:49.161
Right.

00:23:49.221 --> 00:23:52.730
You go and do this and this is right and this is wrong.

00:23:52.760 --> 00:23:56.000
And we are telling them right as they grow.

00:23:56.730 --> 00:24:01.111
They, we kind of need to be on more equal than, okay.

00:24:01.111 --> 00:24:07.921
And it doesn't mean that we, we give all the power and all the decisions to them because they're not ready for that yet.

00:24:08.371 --> 00:24:17.131
But instead of telling them what to do, we need to start asking questions, what do you think you would like to do?

00:24:17.401 --> 00:24:22.471
Or, um, what do you think the consequences of this choice are going to be?

00:24:22.861 --> 00:24:25.471
So it's not only giving them.

00:24:26.631 --> 00:24:29.391
And our, um, authenticity, right?

00:24:29.391 --> 00:24:29.480
Mm-hmm.

00:24:29.721 --> 00:24:33.530
But it's also teaching them make their own decisions.

00:24:33.681 --> 00:24:33.770
Mm-hmm.

00:24:34.010 --> 00:24:40.131
Not based on someone told me to do that, but based on their own thinking.

00:24:40.520 --> 00:24:40.790
Right.

00:24:41.060 --> 00:24:46.431
Because af and that's why we need that stage to separate from us, right.

00:24:46.431 --> 00:24:52.221
And learn, make to make mistakes while in the safety of the parents.

00:24:52.905 --> 00:24:53.125
Yes.

00:24:53.125 --> 00:24:55.506
'cause they make mistake mistakes.

00:24:55.506 --> 00:24:57.006
They're going to make mistakes.

00:24:57.246 --> 00:25:01.445
They're going to fall and we are there to catch them and say, mm-hmm.

00:25:01.685 --> 00:25:03.276
Okay, let's fix this together.

00:25:03.605 --> 00:25:04.266
Right.

00:25:04.715 --> 00:25:13.326
And I love the question, um, what, what came of that situation for you?

00:25:13.326 --> 00:25:17.105
What did you come out with that come out of that with?

00:25:17.105 --> 00:25:21.726
What's the learning that if you ever have that circumstance again?

00:25:22.236 --> 00:25:23.286
What would you do the same?

00:25:23.286 --> 00:25:24.455
What would you do differently?

00:25:24.455 --> 00:25:24.816
Why?

00:25:24.816 --> 00:25:25.415
Why not?

00:25:25.415 --> 00:25:26.405
Exactly Right.

00:25:27.185 --> 00:25:27.336
Yes.

00:25:27.395 --> 00:25:27.661
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:28.086 --> 00:25:36.816
And you know, you notice the minute you say to the, uh, teenager, go and do something or don't do something, they're going to do the opposite.

00:25:37.115 --> 00:25:39.395
They're going, put the hand, don't talk to me.

00:25:39.395 --> 00:25:40.266
You don't know.

00:25:40.566 --> 00:25:40.925
Fine.

00:25:40.986 --> 00:25:41.705
I don't know.

00:25:41.705 --> 00:25:42.861
You tell me what you think.

00:25:42.861 --> 00:25:43.020
Yeah.

00:25:43.280 --> 00:25:43.340
Yeah.

00:25:43.550 --> 00:25:47.060
You tell me what you know, let's kind of chat about it.

00:25:47.451 --> 00:25:47.780
Yeah.

00:25:47.780 --> 00:25:51.530
And when we don't push our own agenda onto them mm-hmm.

00:25:51.530 --> 00:25:51.540
Mm-hmm.

00:25:51.540 --> 00:25:52.550
They tend to open up.

00:25:53.060 --> 00:25:53.601
Right.

00:25:54.080 --> 00:26:04.550
It's very interesting, um, what you're sharing, because I think one of the key pieces is as your child grows mm-hmm.

00:26:04.790 --> 00:26:06.500
So does the parent.

00:26:07.221 --> 00:26:18.111
So the parenting needs to match the, the skill and not just the skill, but the ability of the child need, right.

00:26:18.500 --> 00:26:19.076
Of the child.

00:26:19.881 --> 00:26:20.361
Yeah.

00:26:20.361 --> 00:26:27.500
So one thing, I remember my early years of teaching, and I've always kept it as a, an anchor for me.

00:26:27.951 --> 00:26:33.621
Sometimes I would fail and I would absolutely put my flag up going, yep, that was my fault.

00:26:34.040 --> 00:26:35.181
Um, but.

00:26:35.780 --> 00:26:46.101
Uh, the more they, the more our children grow into teenagehood, what we tend to do as parents is clamp down further.

00:26:46.790 --> 00:26:51.290
What we need to do is pull back further and give them more autonomy.

00:26:51.770 --> 00:26:51.891
Yeah.

00:26:51.921 --> 00:26:54.891
And our natural tendency is to keep them safe.

00:26:54.891 --> 00:27:00.111
And so we're gonna restrict and put the, you know, curfews on and this and that and the other thing.

00:27:00.111 --> 00:27:03.921
But in reality we need to change that and move.

00:27:04.625 --> 00:27:08.855
Away from the, um, put'em in the box.

00:27:09.096 --> 00:27:09.215
Yes.

00:27:09.306 --> 00:27:14.256
And like you said, be there for the safety net when things fall apart.

00:27:14.465 --> 00:27:14.645
Yeah.

00:27:15.336 --> 00:27:15.665
Right.

00:27:15.846 --> 00:27:16.145
Yeah.

00:27:16.205 --> 00:27:16.596
That's it.

00:27:16.596 --> 00:27:22.536
Because the, the tighter we hold them, the more likely they will go somewhere else.

00:27:22.625 --> 00:27:22.746
Mm.

00:27:22.986 --> 00:27:28.596
And find that, um, approval or, or that, you know, I am good enough.

00:27:29.451 --> 00:27:30.711
From somewhere else.

00:27:30.711 --> 00:27:35.901
And usually that, you know, someone else is, um, bad influence.

00:27:36.201 --> 00:27:36.320
Right.

00:27:37.161 --> 00:27:38.961
People that are not good for them.

00:27:39.050 --> 00:27:39.111
Yeah.

00:27:39.111 --> 00:27:41.451
But they feel accepted there.

00:27:41.540 --> 00:27:41.750
Yes.

00:27:41.750 --> 00:27:43.851
Where in the family they feel well.

00:27:44.451 --> 00:27:46.730
My mom, my dad don't agree with me.

00:27:46.760 --> 00:27:48.260
They're constantly at me.

00:27:48.260 --> 00:27:49.641
They're constantly nagging.

00:27:49.641 --> 00:27:58.340
They're constantly, you know, wanting something from me instead of saying, you know, seeing me and seeing the changes in me.

00:27:58.550 --> 00:27:59.810
Yes, yes.

00:28:00.171 --> 00:28:04.040
I have one kind of metaphor for, for this kind of parenting journey.

00:28:04.040 --> 00:28:04.580
Yes.

00:28:04.586 --> 00:28:05.871
Which I would like to share.

00:28:06.141 --> 00:28:06.711
Please do.

00:28:06.711 --> 00:28:13.546
And uh, you know, imagine when a child is born a baby and we're holding them, we have the whole, the power.

00:28:14.570 --> 00:28:15.381
Over them, right?

00:28:15.381 --> 00:28:16.911
We decide where to put them.

00:28:16.911 --> 00:28:21.290
We, the power is in our hands, and then they start crawling.

00:28:21.290 --> 00:28:26.570
So they're kind of moving away a bit, a little bit further away from, from us.

00:28:26.810 --> 00:28:32.931
Then they start walking, they move further away again, then they go to a crash, then they go to school.

00:28:32.931 --> 00:28:37.671
And again, that distance constantly, uh, being, um.

00:28:38.586 --> 00:28:40.056
They're constantly growing, right?

00:28:40.060 --> 00:28:40.286
Right.

00:28:40.596 --> 00:28:46.536
They go for further away from us all the time, but then they know they come back and we are there.

00:28:47.135 --> 00:28:47.346
Right.

00:28:47.465 --> 00:28:48.036
Love that.

00:28:48.096 --> 00:28:59.976
And when teenagers, we need to give that power back to them and they will go away as far as they need, but we are always there for them to come back.

00:29:00.605 --> 00:29:04.441
Um, and then, you know, as adults, they will always, yeah.

00:29:05.556 --> 00:29:05.796
Yeah.

00:29:05.796 --> 00:29:05.826
Or

00:29:06.185 --> 00:29:10.145
if we don't give them that space, they mightn't come back.

00:29:10.145 --> 00:29:10.205
Yeah.

00:29:10.296 --> 00:29:11.976
Or they've back very rarely.

00:29:12.006 --> 00:29:17.721
So, you know, by letting them go, we are actually allowing for them to come back.

00:29:18.965 --> 00:29:19.865
Thank you for that.

00:29:19.925 --> 00:29:21.185
And I love this metaphor.

00:29:21.185 --> 00:29:21.770
It's um,

00:29:21.990 --> 00:29:22.411
mm-hmm.

00:29:22.490 --> 00:29:23.316
It's beautiful.

00:29:23.316 --> 00:29:26.016
And for me it just, it shows Yeah.

00:29:26.286 --> 00:29:30.215
What we need to do during every stage.

00:29:30.215 --> 00:29:30.276
Yeah.

00:29:30.816 --> 00:29:36.306
And, and with that example that you shared that I can, you can visualize, you know, there they are.

00:29:36.306 --> 00:29:37.865
As a baby, I'm putting you here.

00:29:37.865 --> 00:29:38.736
That's my decision.

00:29:38.736 --> 00:29:41.135
'cause you can't do anything other than that.

00:29:41.135 --> 00:29:41.405
Right.

00:29:41.405 --> 00:29:41.826
Like that.

00:29:42.306 --> 00:29:43.145
And as.

00:29:43.215 --> 00:29:44.865
The child keeps growing.

00:29:44.865 --> 00:29:49.695
They get, they get a further distance, they get more expansion.

00:29:50.205 --> 00:29:55.905
So thinking of it in that way will help us as parents.

00:29:56.026 --> 00:30:01.905
With the teen teaming is maybe going not so well.

00:30:01.905 --> 00:30:03.826
Think about what you are doing.

00:30:03.826 --> 00:30:07.155
Are you going back to the baby stage?

00:30:07.155 --> 00:30:08.205
But they are.

00:30:09.125 --> 00:30:12.246
Six two or is it Right.

00:30:12.246 --> 00:30:17.945
So thank you for that example, because that's something we can actually crosscheck in our mind.

00:30:17.945 --> 00:30:27.605
When things aren't going well, we can do, oh, wait a minute, am am I giving that expansion or am I trying to hold them physically and I, that's not working clearly.

00:30:27.786 --> 00:30:28.115
Exactly.

00:30:28.901 --> 00:30:32.915
After all, we need to teach them not to need us.

00:30:33.296 --> 00:30:33.715
Yeah.

00:30:33.746 --> 00:30:34.105
Oh.

00:30:34.105 --> 00:30:45.685
You know, that's the hardest part of, um, our role as parents is, you know, to make sure that they don't need us and they're independent enough and they can live without us.

00:30:46.611 --> 00:30:52.280
And thank you for that, and I'm smiling ear to ear today as we're recording this.

00:30:52.280 --> 00:30:53.780
It's actually my birthday.

00:30:54.556 --> 00:30:55.385
Happy birthday.

00:30:55.881 --> 00:30:56.931
Thank you.

00:30:56.931 --> 00:30:59.631
I have a son who's in Portugal.

00:30:59.631 --> 00:31:06.861
On his 30th birthday, he decided to do a big trip with his girlfriend, our daughter and son-in-law and baby.

00:31:07.101 --> 00:31:07.611
Um.

00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:12.800
Messaged me from West Coast, like five hour flight away.

00:31:13.490 --> 00:31:28.730
Um, my husband who isn't with me this week'cause he's away, but he messaged first thing, like, what I think is so beautiful is that they don't need me, but they love me to the depths of the earth and back.

00:31:28.730 --> 00:31:30.050
And there's nothing more.

00:31:30.861 --> 00:31:32.060
Beautiful than that.

00:31:32.451 --> 00:31:35.661
They know I will always be there for them as the mom.

00:31:35.661 --> 00:31:42.800
They know Dad will always be there for dad as dad, but just to have that kind of a response.

00:31:42.800 --> 00:31:45.141
It's not a special birthday, it's 62.

00:31:45.141 --> 00:31:47.840
It's not a big, you know, it is a big deal.

00:31:47.871 --> 00:31:50.421
'cause 62, I'm so fortunate to see.

00:31:50.695 --> 00:31:53.905
But at the same time, what a gift.

00:31:54.086 --> 00:31:57.685
Um, I received more than anything that anybody could buy.

00:31:57.776 --> 00:32:02.816
Just having those resp, those messages come into me this morning just meant the world, you know,

00:32:03.355 --> 00:32:03.655
how

00:32:03.655 --> 00:32:05.185
beautiful it was.

00:32:05.185 --> 00:32:06.865
You look fantastic for your age.

00:32:09.715 --> 00:32:10.556
Well, thank you.

00:32:11.615 --> 00:32:13.955
And I think you did a great job as a mom.

00:32:14.316 --> 00:32:20.046
Um, you know, not going, because I think a lot of, um, people would go, but this is my birthday.

00:32:20.046 --> 00:32:21.336
You know, why aren't you here?

00:32:21.336 --> 00:32:25.266
Why aren't you, um, you know, well, they're not here this year.

00:32:25.266 --> 00:32:26.556
They will be there next year.

00:32:26.556 --> 00:32:29.016
Or maybe they were there last year.

00:32:29.195 --> 00:32:31.445
So they have their own lives as well.

00:32:31.445 --> 00:32:31.536
Yes.

00:32:31.655 --> 00:32:35.135
And they make decision and they come back to you.

00:32:35.496 --> 00:32:35.645
Yes.

00:32:35.645 --> 00:32:40.115
Not because they feel I have to, but because they feel I want to.

00:32:40.476 --> 00:32:40.625
Yeah.

00:32:40.625 --> 00:32:47.945
And that kind of, um, connection is much stronger, is much more enjoyable and much more fun.

00:32:47.945 --> 00:32:48.036
It's,

00:32:49.601 --> 00:32:50.651
it's incredible.

00:32:50.945 --> 00:32:51.665
Thank you for that.

00:32:51.665 --> 00:32:58.685
Because what I find is that, um, any time we get to be together.

00:32:59.046 --> 00:33:04.086
It is not a miracle, but it feels so beautiful.

00:33:04.476 --> 00:33:08.195
You know, it's, it is such a, such a beautiful time.

00:33:08.195 --> 00:33:10.175
And when we're in the room, we're in the room.

00:33:10.625 --> 00:33:10.986
Right?

00:33:12.125 --> 00:33:12.336
Which

00:33:12.336 --> 00:33:13.566
is absolutely, yes.

00:33:13.566 --> 00:33:15.681
It's a blessing That's so special.

00:33:15.911 --> 00:33:22.415
It's so important to learn how to be in the room with so many.

00:33:23.165 --> 00:33:26.826
Adults, and they are adults now, they, they're your children.

00:33:27.306 --> 00:33:36.155
But we need to find a way to connect with those adults, not as, you know, parent child when they're adults, but as two adults,

00:33:36.276 --> 00:33:36.816
right?

00:33:36.875 --> 00:33:37.145
Yeah.

00:33:37.385 --> 00:33:45.161
You know, and that is, you did something very right there and you managed to do that, and you manage to connect with them.

00:33:46.010 --> 00:33:50.330
Well, it's been a, it's been a journey and it hasn't always been easy, I can tell you that,

00:33:50.336 --> 00:33:50.865
believe that.

00:33:50.990 --> 00:33:54.621
But it's been right, but it's been worth every penny.

00:33:54.621 --> 00:33:59.931
So is there anything in particular, I wanna shift it back to you as we depart.

00:34:00.141 --> 00:34:04.221
Is there anything in particular you would love to share with our audience?

00:34:04.310 --> 00:34:14.510
A nugget, an extra, if I could tell you anything about parenting, teenagers relationships.

00:34:14.840 --> 00:34:16.521
You've given us so much already.

00:34:17.630 --> 00:34:20.541
I think, you know, start with yourself.

00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:21.411
Mm.

00:34:21.501 --> 00:34:28.251
Uh, you know, stop expecting for them to change and, you know, sometimes parents would come fix them.

00:34:28.670 --> 00:34:45.530
Picks the child, you know, um, no, let's start with ourselves and they will follow because they still copy paste everything from us, all the coping mechanisms, all the, how we treat ourselves, how we treat others, how we see the world.

00:34:45.891 --> 00:34:48.561
Um, they do copy paste and they esp.

00:34:48.565 --> 00:34:51.920
Esp, they mightn't show it when they're teenagers, right?

00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:52.041
Yeah.

00:34:52.041 --> 00:34:52.221
They'll say.

00:34:53.061 --> 00:34:54.411
You don't know anything.

00:34:55.610 --> 00:34:57.050
You kind of remember that.

00:34:57.260 --> 00:35:01.971
And as adults, they will come back and they will do exactly the same thing.

00:35:02.811 --> 00:35:09.411
You know why, um, children of alcoholics tend to, uh, use the same copies?

00:35:09.411 --> 00:35:09.501
Mm-hmm.

00:35:09.740 --> 00:35:13.760
Coping strategies is, you know, oh, I'm feeling very stressed.

00:35:13.791 --> 00:35:15.351
Uh, you know, let's have a glass of wine.

00:35:16.056 --> 00:35:16.416
Right.

00:35:16.686 --> 00:35:19.266
Because they don't know how to do it otherwise.

00:35:19.655 --> 00:35:24.576
So, um, and that's what the parenting, the Selfless Parenting Community is about.

00:35:24.786 --> 00:35:31.175
You know, let's start with ourselves and see, uh, what traumas we bring from our childhood.

00:35:31.175 --> 00:35:31.266
Mm-hmm.

00:35:31.835 --> 00:35:36.516
Um, what kind of negative beliefs we can change in ourselves.

00:35:36.650 --> 00:35:36.940
Yeah.

00:35:36.965 --> 00:35:43.146
And, uh, you know, you, you want me to wait for long and you will see the change in your children.

00:35:43.865 --> 00:35:44.795
It's so true.

00:35:44.795 --> 00:35:53.465
We talk about this on the show all the time because the foundational component is do this for you, by you because of you.

00:35:53.556 --> 00:36:12.425
And when you do this for you, the ripple effect is magnified more than your brain can even imagine, and you will see it in ways that you can't even create in your mind's eye because it's way bigger than that.

00:36:13.221 --> 00:36:14.150
Yes, I do.

00:36:14.150 --> 00:36:15.260
I do believe in that.

00:36:15.740 --> 00:36:15.951
Um,

00:36:16.490 --> 00:36:16.641
yeah,

00:36:16.641 --> 00:36:16.755
for sure.

00:36:18.815 --> 00:36:25.925
What a treat, what a treasure you are to be here sharing this conversation.

00:36:25.956 --> 00:36:37.115
I know that my audience is grateful for the tips, the strategies, the thinking, the seeds you planted for all of us.

00:36:37.146 --> 00:36:37.835
Thank you.

00:36:38.436 --> 00:36:41.795
Continue to grow audience because.

00:36:42.016 --> 00:36:44.536
You have the power, it's up to you.

00:36:44.715 --> 00:36:51.346
And when we start with ourselves, everything changes, like Tatiana said, and I'm witness to that.

00:36:51.346 --> 00:36:52.846
I can, you've heard my stories.

00:36:52.846 --> 00:36:56.206
If you've listened to the show, if you haven't, keep listening.

00:36:56.235 --> 00:36:58.096
Follow, share.

00:36:58.126 --> 00:37:00.496
Like make sure you give reviews.

00:37:01.150 --> 00:37:02.831
That gives us more exposure.

00:37:02.831 --> 00:37:12.731
We can get this information out to more women to show the beautiful life that can happen as we thrive after 45.

00:37:13.451 --> 00:37:17.260
Thank you again, Tatiana, for being here and sharing with us today.

00:37:17.856 --> 00:37:18.456
Beautiful.

00:37:18.456 --> 00:37:20.856
Denise, thank you so much for this opportunity.

00:37:21.096 --> 00:37:25.596
I really enjoyed as I, as I knew I would and I really enjoyed.

00:37:25.655 --> 00:37:30.186
Um, your energy is amazing and uh, what you are doing is amazing.

00:37:30.576 --> 00:37:33.936
Spread the world, the word to the world.