It Was Never About the Make Up with Gabriela Soares

Denise 0:00

Hello, and welcome to today's episode of Thrive after 45. I'm Denise Drink Walter heart whisperer, midlife mirror and mentor every week. I am so honored to share energy and space with inspiring guests. Whose stories reflect so many possibilities of thriving beyond 45? Together we'll uncover the whispers of the heart, the power of midlife transformation, and the wisdom that fuels expansion. What if the reason your makeup stopped working isn't you, but that no one ever taught you how to work with the skin you're in now? Today I am honored and privileged to welcome Gabriela Sore. Gabby has spent over two decades as a professional makeup artist and hairstylist working hands-on with thousands of women across all ages, skin types, and life stages. But what shifted everything for her was noticing something many were quietly experiencing women over 40 were being left out of the beauty conversation. Instead of ignoring it, she leaned in as a beauty content creator. Gabby has built a platform grounded in real experience where her work has now reached over 119 million views, connecting with millions of women every single month. But what I feel most when I sit with her and watching her work is how deeply she really understands the woman on the other side of the mirror. Because it isn't about makeup, it's about the moment when what used to work doesn't. When your reflection feels unfamiliar, when you start to wonder. Is that me and Gabby meets women right there. She helps you understand why foundation may not be sitting the same, why texture suddenly feels more visible, why eyeliner feels different, and most importantly, how to work with your skin instead of against it, not through trends. But through technique, through awareness, through a return to what actually supports you. Now this conversation is for the woman who has stood in front of the mirror and felt that quiet, quiet disconnection, and is ready to meet herself. There was something new. Gabby, what an honor and a privilege it is to have this conversation with you today. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me. What a nice introduction. Thank you for, you know, oh my gosh. I, I have to tell our audience, it's a mutual friend who brought us together because I have seen your videos and I don't even know how it came to be. And, and, uh, Jeff said to me, I know her. I was like. Pardon? Pardon? What do you mean you know her? So we got to connect and we just realized, actually I totally forgot. It was about a year ago when we first connected. Wow. And yeah. So it's so great to have you here today and your videos are incredible. I just can't seem to get enough of them because you're genuine. You are the person behind the camera is you. And I love that you give ideas and techniques and I don't know if anybody has gleamed as much information from them all as I have, but I'm so grateful for your content. It's so well done. So thank you for everything you put in behind the scenes. 'cause I can only imagine. What it's like. Thank you so much for saying that, and thanks to you too, like having a, a platform for women to be able to feel authentically themselves and to connect and understand like what you have created is pretty remarkable too. So thank you for being a part of it as much as me. And isn't it great how we know that there's that quiet, uh, something's disconnected with me and we feel it, but we. Push it aside. Don't we just kind of like, oh, I just to do Oh yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah. Or we fill it up with something else to make it go for a minute. Isn't that true? And, and thinking, the more we fill it up from the outside, that it's just going to keep us busy enough so we don't have to actually under uncover what's really going on. Right. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. When, when did things start changing for you in terms of, you know what, there's a piece missing here. Can you tell us a little bit of your, how you got to where you are doing the incredible work you're doing now? Sure. So, so it, it's, it's a funny story. So I've been a makeup artist for 20 years. Um, over 20 years and I've worked in film and fashion and television. I've traveled the world. I've done major campaigns, worked with celebrities. Um, but I also, one, one business that I did run simultaneously along with that business. I also was a hairstylist, so I had multiple things, but all in the beauty industry. So it seems like a lot, but it was. All the same space, but different avenues of the same space. And I would hop from the salon to onset to, to my bridal business, had a bridal business. And of course you did. I did. Yep. Because hair and makeup's my thing, you know? Right. So, uh, I, I, I. Would find that my team that I hired, they would get very nervous and worried to do like grandma of the bride, you know, the, the little granny who's 88 and she's, she's so excited to get her hair and makeup done and they'd be like, gab, can you do grandma? Like, because they feel intimidated by, by it, not because they're not great artists or even because they don't love that age demographic, just because they didn't know how. The skin changes and why it wasn't reacting in the same way to the makeup application. So of course, as the team lead and the business owner, I would take grandma, I would take mothers, I would take great aunts, they would become my clients because it intimidated the rest of my team. Mm-hmm. And from there I learned a lot of techniques and, and a really deep understanding of not only their skin or their preferences, but even just their stories and how I, I had a mother of the bride once tell me, you know, this beautiful woman, by the way, like she could have been a supermodel. She's like, you turned 50 and you're invisible. Not, there's not one man that will turn and look at you anymore. It's like when I walked in a room, every man would turn and look at me. I turn 50 and not a single man looks at me. And I'm like, A man are gonna look at you tonight. Love it. Yeah. I just really started to understand them. So, um, long story short, I felt that kind of disconnect with. Working face to face, impacting one person at a time. Mm-hmm. I really felt like my calling was to impact millions of people at the same time. So I started creating these videos for my clients mainly 'cause they would message me later and say, I've never felt more beautiful in my whole life. Like, how did you get my foundation to look like that? And I would type it like, you have to prep the skin like this. You have to do this. But makeup is an art. You need to know how much to use, where to use it, how to spread it, what tools to use with it. And I could never fully articulate how to do it with words I had to show. Mm. And so I started making videos so that when a woman would ask me that, I'd say. I've had three questions about that this week. Watch this video. Yeah. And then over time the video started going viral and I think it's because I was really one of the only women speaking to that community. Yeah. So I didn't have much competition 'cause all the makeup artists we were speaking to really young. Women. Right. And I kind of became known for that, even though at the time when I started making the videos, I was only 32. Mm-hmm. So I'm 40 now. Um, I'm still quite young, but I, I, I've really specialized in that woman over 45, 50, 60, 70. Right. And that's my entire audience. And I just like love, I love them so much. Well, and you know, I, I can attest to the connection piece. What I'm hearing in your story is that you were going to help solve a problem because you know when women are feeling their best, they are their best, right? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. And I think, you know, the evolution of womanhood is it is every stage is very different. Yeah. Like when you hit your late thirties into early forties, that's when you really start to see the shifts of midlife and you resist it. So the way I speak to that woman's different than the way I speak to a 7-year-old who has. They've, they've evolved. They're in their butterfly era. They've accepted, they're not cocooning. Whereas in forties, you're kind of cocooning. You're like resisting like, what is this? I need more Botox. I need filler. I need this. I, yeah, why isn't this but seventies different? And the best part I think of the connection that I have with my audience is that when I make my videos for my 60 year olds, when I make my videos for my 45 year olds, I speak to them differently because they're at a different stage of their. Female evolution. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think that's really important to acknowledge. Thank you for that. Because there is a thread that goes through because we all go through phases and stages in our, our skin is a reflection of all of the things that are going inside of our body too. Are they not? Yes, absolutely. Yeah. So as we age, as we hit perimenopause, menopause, post menopause, I notice my face and I'm like, I, I'm not about anti-aging. I've never been about that. I want to create, I love makeup. I've always loved makeup. That's always been a little bit of my thing. I don't like a lot. I like to be oh, natural as much as possible, but I know for me, I'm trying to still find. What I really like when I put it on. Right. Do you find that a lot of your people that you speak to it, it could be one piece or another piece, they just have to play with it? Or how does that work? Yeah, so I think there's this misconception. Mm-hmm. That makeup, it's like hiding, but it's actually the opposite. For me, it's, it's. It's decorating, it's bringing the inside outwards. Oh. So I don't think it, it's about finding like the perfect product or anything. You know what you really have to do. And when I would teach classes individually, I would always get the woman to look at in the mirror, bare faced, and I'd say, tell me the thing that you love about yourself. And you have to answer it. You can't say nothing. You have to say one thing. Yay. Thank you. Right? Yes. Like, I really like my mouth. I think I have a big smile and I, I, I think I show a lot of warmth in my mouth. Yeah. And so I often decorate that and bring it forward, even with a nude color. I'll do a more saturated nude instead of like a pale nude. I'll never wipe it out, but I, and then I, and then you get them to look in the mirror again. And I say, what is something that makes you feel uncomfortable with yourself? For me, I actually have a lot of fine lines around my eyes and a lot of hollowness and darkness. Mm-hmm. And so I've learned techniques to pop the hollowness out without accentuating fine lines. And so I think for women try to under, especially as they evolve and make up changes, it's understanding what they love and how to push it forward and understanding what makes 'em uncomfortable and how to push it back. And makeup's just a play of pushing forward, pushing back. Deemphasize, the things that aren't, you know, as flattering to your eye. Mm-hmm. And emphasizing the things that are so that all people notice are the things that you love and they don't notice at all the thing you've pushed back. Right. And that's all that makeup is. It's really simple actually. what's coming through for me is the way that products are sold, right? Yes. Yeah. It's marketing and I think mm-hmm. It's something that I struggle with a lot. Mm-hmm. Because I just made a video that, uh, last week that I just am working on the edit now, and it. Any because, uh, women, especially over 50, they often have a dislike, a foundation 'cause they can emphasize fine lines. Mm-hmm. And so they're on this hunt for the perfect foundation and they've bought like 30 bottles. I haven't bought 30, but I've played with what's the founda? Because I've always used foundation. Yes. Right. The, the fallacy, and I think that it, it's often in marketing. Mm-hmm. Is that it's not the foundation, it's the application. Ah. It's the technique of applying and how to manipulate different formulas to look skin like. So you can make a full coverage foundation like Estee Lauder double wear, for example, look like a skin tint if you apply it in a certain way and you can, you can build up a skin tint. To look like a full coverage foundation if you apply it in a different way. So instead of this endless hunt for the perfect item. Yeah, it's the look for the endless hunt for the perfect technique. Ah, and you teach technique in your videos. Yeah. They're all all technique based. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So is there a spot where you would say, okay, if you're. You're, you're Denise. You're trying to find that foundation and you're not getting a new one until that one's done because you've already spent the money on that one sister. Um, and you went for the ones that are, you know, the age specific. I'm talking about me now, everyone. This is what I do, and so I've. This one that I'm finishing. I like it for certain pieces, but I have, I have never done it through the eyes of what you just shared. Look at what you love about your face and start pulling those pieces out and receding the other components. Are there certain as like, are there, when you think of it, like do you think eyes, nose, mouth, or how do you look at a face? Do you look at the individual pieces or how do you do that? Yeah, like I can look at a face and tell you within two seconds what, what is something that people see that's like, wow, that's beautiful and everyone has it. Yeah, it's often eyes. Mm-hmm. Um, sometimes it's lips, like lip shapes. Yeah. Smile. Like what brings a lot of warmth. Sometimes it's skin. I'll look at a woman and they have the most beautiful, you know, deep chocolates. Skin looks like satin or like porcelain or redheads with freckles. It's like that. That texture tells a story and that is what's beautiful about them. So we can bring that forward with really sheer skin tints that will let it shine through and. Using like red based blushes so that they look like that really youthful flush that children get when they're running. Yes. Red is amazing with that because their, their little skin texture shines through and melts in with the red based blush. So yeah, it's, and, and noses, like if you have a really beautiful little nose, you can emphasize that with, by adding a little touch, a highlighter here and on the tip. So I would say that you're right. Yes. It's like the features, the individual features, skin, mouth, nose, eyes, brows. She gone. So with saying that I would look in the mirror and I wouldn't be able to. Decipher what? Because I look at myself only one way, the way that I always see myself. So does it help to have somebody else your, like how do you ever do individual consults? I know you talked about how incredible everything's going with the millions, which I love. Wonder if there's a, do you do consults to help? No. Or how does that work? No. Okay. I don't have time for that anymore. Yeah, I wish I did, but I That would be very crazy actually. Yeah. Well, and that's what I'm thinking. It's like, ah, that's a lot. So do you, you know, the one thing that I used to see all the time was what shape is your face? You draw the, you draw it on the mirror, does that have an impact or do you tend to look at individual pieces or is it all together? I think face shape can have an impact. I think face shape has a big impact on haircuts as a hairstyle. I can say that with certainty. Sure, yeah. Yeah. If you have a very long, narrow face, um, you're gonna want to add width to the face mm-hmm. To make it more youthful looking and plumper. If you have a very round face, you're gonna want to add lengths to, to elongate and balance, um, if you have very sharp features. So it, that's more of like a haircut thing, I would say. Right. Okay. It also matters for contouring, but I think it matters. Less than people think it does. Mm. Yeah. It still does matter, but that's getting like really advanced. Okay. Okay. And I think the normal woman who applies me casually, I think that would be overwhelming. Yeah, fair. Totally fair. What would you say would be the biggest mistake that women MM actually make with their makeup as. We age as we get older. I think the, I think the biggest mistake, like I mentioned earlier, was mm-hmm. Endlessly hunting for the perfect product, but not understanding the application. Right. Yeah. That's really a big one. Another one is, um, applying products the way that you did, I think. I think we kind of, even for myself, I feel like I like froze mentally at the age of not, um, like ma in terms of maturity, but like how I see myself, I'm like 30. Yeah. But I don't look 30 anymore. But I, I, I have a hard time adapting my techniques because I'll always go back to how I did it when I was 30. Yeah. And then I'll notice that it doesn't look good in pictures. Yeah. It's even a battle with myself and this is what I do. Yeah. For a living. So what you just shared there is so valuable for myself and our audience because we all struggle. Even the experts struggle with, I'm doing it the same way. I've done it this way, it's worked and things are changing and I need to. Not just be okay with it, but do what you are sharing in terms of pulling out what is it that you love about your face. So I love the segue where we can start to take that information and go, wait a minute, I'm gonna do this whole new way because I'm a whole new me I'm, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm still the same person, but I'm changing and I'm loving the changes. So I'm gonna adapt and become curious how I can do things differently. And accentuate and grow into my continued beauty. Right. Yeah. So what I would encourage you to do is go to someone that loves you the most, whether that's your son or daughter, or your husband or your sister, and say like, when you see me without makeup, what do you notice is the most beautiful thing about me? Mm-hmm. Just straight up, ask them, and I bet you they'll know. They'll vape your eyes like they will. They say it like it's. They're like, what do you mean? How do you not know? It's your, obviously your gorgeous eyes, you know? You know. Yep. Sometimes you need an outside eye. Yes. Yeah. I, I. Totally hear what you're saying. I totally, because I'm, I'm that person. I'm the person who's like, I don't know because I question myself. Well, I like this, but is that really, you know the right answer? Oh, come on Denise. There is no right answer really, you know? No, there's actually no right answer. Yeah. And that's another thing that I, I, that's another common, I don't wanna even say mistake 'cause there was no mistake in making this hurt. It is literally like, is there a wrong way to paint a canvas? There isn't. Um, but I often see women yell, especially I find women that are, that are older mm-hmm. In their life journey. Mm-hmm. They're constantly looking for right and wrong, and I'm like, I don't find that young, like the twenties would ever say that. Like, is this the right way to apply eyeliner? Right. But I, I get that question a lot in my mature. Yeah. Audience demographic, but that's not the right way you're supposed to. And it's like there's no right and wrong way to paint anything. There's just the way that ends up being the most flattering for you. Right, right. And you have to trust your own eye 'cause you can't really get it right or wrong. Mm-hmm. And you just have to trust your eye. What you're saying is freedom. What I'm hearing is freedom. Freedom to be you, freedom to explore, freedom to build curiosity and play with it and have fun, because why not? And I, I think that's why the younger women don't have this, um, instinct to ask if it's wrong, because they're more, they, I think that life hasn't worked them down so much that they trust. Their intuition, like they don't care. You know what I mean? If it's right or wrong, they're just gonna do them. Mm-hmm. But as we get older, it's like we've gone through so many things that we start overthinking it, I think. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Spending time for less carefree. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'd say there's another shift as we get through that, uh, there is more freedom and ability, however we've been doing. Our face this way for so long, it might be hard to break those. Well, how else can I do it? Watch Gabby's show. She will play with you. Yeah, and that's a great, I love that you said play because you can watch my show and try it and be like, this looks terrible. Trust your gut because there's a million ways to paint anything, and you might get some new ideas and then adapt it to what your faced features are, and you just have to enjoy it because that's what it is, you know? Yeah. And the good thing about makeup is you can wash it off. It's not a haircut, you know? Yes. Do it in the evening before going to bed. Learn a few new things. Take it with you, wash it off. Try again the next day. Have fun. Have fun with it, and do it for you by you because of you a hundred percent, right? Mm-hmm. Yes. And it's pretty empowering when you change something. Yeah. And you, and you leave the house feeling amazing, and you have that person that's like, wow, you look great. What have you been doing? Yeah. And the answer is never like I bought a new concealer. Yeah. Thank you. That is a perfect, perfect response. I, it's not about the concealer, it's about how I feel about myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Puts a pep in your step when you feel really, really confident. Mm-hmm. I love that. Is there anything you would love to share with our audience as we prepare to close our incredible conversation today? Um, anything that you wanna make sure the women in the audience here? Yeah, I think, um, don't undermine your power and your self-worth and, and really take the time to. Not only accept yourself, but really, really love yourself. Mm-hmm. It's, it's an amazing thing when you can look in the mirror and you can, you know, push back the things that maybe make you feel self-conscious and really play up and, and amplify the things that make you feel gorgeous, because no one is looking at the things that you hate. No one, no one. Have you, have you ever met a beautiful No. Woman, like a, not even physically beautiful, like internally beautiful woman. Yeah. Yeah, man. She'd be a lot prettier if she had less fine lines. No one sees that. No one sees that, but you. Yeah. What a great point to end with because you're so right. We are so critical of ourselves and. When we do for you by you, because of you, that dissipates out and thi things change around you in your sphere of influence. We talk about this all the time on the show, how empowering you are when you step into your full youness, right? Yeah. Yes. Self-love is so contagious. Mm-hmm. And reflects so much outwardly. Someone who loves themselves is so beautiful without, without a dot of makeup on their face. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And it's not only what people see, it's what people feel. That's, that's the thing because it's so connected. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. There's even, um, a psychological, uh, I, I have a psychology degree and there's, I don't remember the exact terminology of it now, but, um, people are more likely to like someone who they feel likes them. Mm-hmm. You know, so if you feel like a warmth and like a kindness. That someone is giving you, you're more likely to like them. And that's the very much the same with beauty. When you feel accepted and like yourself around someone, you're more likely to feel like they're beautiful. Beauty is very holistic. It's a sum of all the parts. And I think in my industry especially. And you know, the goggles that women in, in the beauty industry and, and even women that enjoy beauty content, they focus on the, the individual parts and not the sum of all the parts. They'll focus on the imperfection and then the product that fixes the imperfection. But beauty isn't, isn't one individual thing. It's the entire aura of a woman. Mm-hmm. It's the way they show up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and that's very different. You know, it's a very different way of looking at beauty, and I think that it's more people need to look at it that way. I, I, I love what you're saying because it's the aura, but all of that stems from how you feel about yourself. Mm-hmm. Right. And. Beauty is deep and wide, and when we take it from the stance of it's not the external, it's the whole package. Mm-hmm. Everything gets to change. So the exterior is just an amplification of the energy that's already running through our bodies because we love whom we are as an individual first and as we know. Women are all about making sure everybody else is okay and we carry all the weight of all of those pieces. And this is why we have our show because we are helping you do this for you, by you because of you. It is not egocentric to put yourself first. It is important because when your cup is totally full and overflowing. Everybody feels that, right? And we're not saying there's a moment here and a moment there where I just a minute, I need a moment. I need to breathe. We're human, it's going to hit, but what are you doing to give back to yourself in ways that nobody else can do, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, you can find me on You be glam girl. Gabby Glam girl. I knew there was a word in there. Yeah, gig G. There you go. Yes, yes. Perfect. And you are also on social media channels and we'll tag everybody so that you can go and see. Um. Gabby in action. Listen to her. You won't find a more authentic, um, artist anywhere. I've never seen anybody more authentic than you. So thank you. It's a pleasure to spend this time. You too. Thank you so much again, and thank you to your audience for, for watching and for accepting me here today. I'm really, really grateful to be here. And before we close, I do want to share something very gently and very clearly In November, this coming November, I am hosting a live in-person experience called Ignite the Inner Uprising. It will be a two day immersive gathering for up to 1200 women in midlife women who feel that quiet pull towards something more truthful. More embodied, more fully their own. It's an extension of these conversations. It's where reflections become embodiment and insight becomes integrated, where women who have held so much for others are going to gather and stand fully in their own sovereignty. So if something stirred inside of you, if your body's leaned in. That is not accidental. The wait list is open, so if Ignite feels like something in your future and your future self will, thank you. I invite you to add your name to the wait list and the link is in the show notes. As always, follow share. Like leave a review so more women can find these incredible conversations. Thank you again, Gabby, for being here with us today and taking time out of You're such a busy woman, a busy schedule for your wisdom and gifts and talents. No problem. Anytime. Hmm.